A Touch of Jen

by Beth Morgan

As he navigates each wave of diners, keeping track of the tables in his section and vaguely enjoying his own long-developed intuition about how and when to give each of them his attention, and as he weaves through the tables, balancing plates, sensitive to every aspect of his surroundings (the different quality of chatter as he moves from the kitchen to the dining area, the water droplets trembling on plates fresh from the dishwasher), he feels so capable that he forgets that this repetitive churning goes nowhere, except towards the end of the day.

Alicia tells him again that the boyfriend probably sucks. “He’s probably the type of person whose favorite book was assigned reading in high school,” she says, although neither of them can remember the last time they read a book.

Alicia says that isn’t how she sounds. “You think that because I act one way around you and a different way around other people that one of those is more authentic?”

The premise of this exchange is that he’s struggling with the bags, but it’s difficult to imagine him ever having struggled. His eyes are the mint color of Lady Liberty, and his expression is moneyed and free of pain, like a royal corpse.

Horus circles them and only uses the words “Pop up!” and “Paddle.” Sometimes he says “Great!” or “Faster!” “Is there any real trick to this, other than the basics?” says Remy. “I feel like this stuff is kind of repetitive.” Horus kneels in the sand next to him, close enough for Remy to see the sun-bleached hairs growing on his toes. “Remy, do you know what else is repetitive?” “What?” “Waves.”

Horus asks if anyone is “up for wangs tonight,” evidently referencing some shared experience in the past, and Alicia laughs even though this comment doesn’t include her. Remy hopes that by pronouncing wings this way they’re being either classist or racist and he can feel superior.

He texts Alicia: You’re using your fake voice again

This manipulative little rat man

“Maybe she’s different than she used to be, but that doesn’t mean she’s being fake.”

“You seem to be a big fan of Horus.” “He’s a very calming presence. I’m naturally drawn to water signs.” “Isn’t he kind of lame though? The whole I’m so chill thing is overbearing.” “You wish, Remy. What sucks for you is that he’s such a prince of a man. It would be a lot easier if Jen were dating some asshole.” Remy laughs because this is the least guilty reaction. He says something noncommittal.

Remy tells Alicia that Jen is a fraud. That she enjoys manipulating people. He assigns many of his own qualities to her.

Jake is a huge help.

Again we love abs support our best friend jake

Jake turns around, holding a spatula in his mouth like a terrier with a stick. He raises and lowers his shoulders. He says, around the spatula, “Don’t worry about it, man.”

Our no 1 himbo

She leaves shortly after, saying that she hopes to see him in the next course. He lies and says that she definitely will. He doesn’t understand why she, like Jen, seems to believe that whatever is behind Remy’s “walls” is anything good.

Jen doesn’t say anything. Remy asks her if that’s weird. He’s so overwhelmed by the sensation of disclosing something true that he forgets that what he’s saying is a distortion of the truth.

“You mean like…an ideal version of life? In some other version of reality?” “Things should just be as easy as surfing. Technically, I can do what I want, but it doesn’t really feel like freedom.