Lookout: Love, Solitude, and Searching for Wildfire in the Boreal Forest

by Trina Moyles

Up north, beauty is a crooked thing, like a bone that’s been broken again and again.

I felt vulnerable and more powerful than I’d ever felt before. We don’t have an adequate word to describe what was charged and running feral through my veins: a blend of fear and freedom. I’d never felt so terrified. And yet never so alive.

lunch. Pat the dog. Take weather calculations. Rush back up the ladder to deliver my

carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. “Delta Lima Oscar,” I said in my a.m. weather report to describe the newly birthed greenery. Code for Deciduous Leaf Out, one of the official “green up” stages that lookouts are responsible for observing and

“When it’s time to plant, plant. When it’s time to eat, eat. Whatever you’re doing, just do it,” he intoned, his voice filling up the cupola. “You can worry about the rain all day, or you can plant and make money. The rain will pass. As for tomorrow, tomorrow doesn’t even enter into it.” Stephanie, said McLean, finally broke 2,000. And then she hit 2,500—despite the blackflies.

appeared over the western sky, Danish citizens reportedly went to the bank and demanded their life savings so they could flee from the impending disaster. How far would the wall of smoke from the B.C. wildfires travel? I called Sam to discover that the smoke had reached the far northwestern corner of Alberta, swallowing his tower whole. Sam eventually climbed down and shut himself in the cabin,

In the U.S., former lookout towers are being turned into tourist destinations you can book online. Stunning Fire Tower Vacation Rentals! The U.S. Forest Service rents out over sixty fire towers in the American west. Spend your next vacation spying storms and stars!

They say that when you get lost in the woods, you should hunker down, keep your heart rate low. Whatever you do, don’t panic. Listen to the forest. With a calm heart, figure out your next move. Seek shelter. Start a fire. Hydrate. Light a smoke signal so others can find you. Or, retrace your footsteps back home. Getting lost was inevitable. Surely, I’d lose my way again. But now I knew, I’d be okay.

“Maybe it’s time to go back to the real world,” I lamented. “Trina, this is the real world,” Dan said, cutting me off. “The world out there isn’t always real.” His usually quiet voice became fiery. “There’s a lot of fakery and hiding. Sometimes it feels like it’s made of Saran Wrap.”

I remember the words of Jack, the lifer I met before my first season, who told me about climbing the tower late at night to marvel at the Milky Way and a smattering of stars. “I don’t have to report shooting stars,” he’d said wistfully. “They’re just for me.”