When Strivings Cease: Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace

by Ruth Chou Simons

This endless striving is what I struggled with in those early days of my youth—and still struggle with today. While being tenacious and not easily broken can be helpful when adjusting to new environments, the other side of it is sometimes a tendency toward people-pleasing, shape-shifting, and bending oneself to seek another’s approval. Resilience can be Malleable and Compliant’s tougher older sister. The “You go, girl” armor to our “Am I enough?” Even the dictionary gives pliable as a synonym for the word resilience. Either quality can be an asset—or a burden. Bending easily but not easily broken was simultaneously freeing and oppressing for me. Who doesn’t want to know resilience? But somewhere along the way I detoured onto the path toward becoming, instead, someone pleasing. Someone others favored.