Nine Essential Conversations before You Say I Do

by Gary L. Thomas

We have found that personal edits (questions and topics you want to avoid) are the exact issues that have the greatest potential to doom marriages and families down the road.

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

You are not morally obligated to accept anyone’s baggage prior to marriage, but once you take your vows and exchange your rings, your spouse’s baggage becomes your own—all of it!

Marital conflict is unavoidable, so you both must learn to resolve conflict respectfully.

If you deliberately shade the truth because you want to avoid hurting your future spouse or perhaps are afraid of raising uncomfortable issues, or if you hold back on your answers and the dialogue that follows, that lack of courage and honesty will send your relationship down an unhealthy path before your marriage even begins.

When you’re talking marriage, you’ve got to get below the surface and find out what’s going on in the depths of that person’s heart and soul.

You don’t need to find someone like you, but you do need to find someone you like, someone you respect, someone who inspires you.

You are both flawed sinners, so you can expect great days, okay days, and some very, very bad days.

covenant-strong commitment also means tremendous security.

Counseling isn’t just for those trying to survive; it should be the tool of choice for those who want to thrive.

You’re not just choosing a spouse: you’re choosing your kids’ future mom or dad.