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I thought my heart was already broken, but it isn’t until this moment that the final pieces rip and tear away, shriveling as they fall to the ground. I’ll never get to hold his hand, or see his chubby cheeks break into a smile. I’ll never hear him squeal with excitement when we play Spider-Man on the walls. I’ll never get to tell him that for all the ways I love his mother, I love him just as much. It’s that last thought that breaks me, my chest splitting from the pain, organs spilling to the floor.
“Do you have a point to being here, Olivia? Or are you just forcing inane conversation to torture me?” I raise my brow. “No, I—” She shakes her head. “I just wanted to talk. To apologize, I guess.” My stomach twists. “Apologize for what?” “For my part in everything. I know you must think the worst of me.” Her voice shakes. I chuckle. “That’s an understatement.” Her eyes are wide and glossy as they gaze up at me. “Alexander—” “I stopped being Alexander the moment you killed our child.” She swallows and glances down, a single tear falling down the side of her face. Slowly, she lifts her head and
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The fact of the matter is that Lee was my best friend for years, my first real friend. And from the moment she stomped into my front yard and introduced herself, we were inseparable. Which is why it hurt so bad to find her with Chase. The two most important people in my life, loving each other so hard that they didn’t leave any love for me. It’s what made it so easy to slip away.
And Lee is the one selfish here??? BS.
“I’m sorry, say that again?” I ask, cocking my head to the side, a fire growing steadily in the pit of my stomach. She swallows, the pale skin of her neck blossoming a deep shade of red. “She wasn’t yours, Alex.” “Don’t call me that.” The nickname is too tender, whispers of it slipping off another woman’s tongue too fresh. My mind is racing, reframing everything I thought I knew from my past, a tendril of intuition prodding at my back. “Whose was it?” Her eyes drop, the cerulean blue growing glassy as she stutters out a shaky breath. She purses her lips. “I think you know.” My chest caves in.
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Odd, how you can be so close to someone, and then suddenly, they’re nothing more than a memory. Soul sisters to strangers, in the blink of an eye.
“It’s real good to have you home again.” My eyebrow quirks. “Is it?” She withdraws her hand. “I know it makes Chase happy.” “And you?” She swallows. “Of course I’m happy, Lily. You were my best friend, even if at the end, things weren’t so great.” I scoff, and her eyes narrow. “I still missed you when you were gone. Before that, if I’m honest.” “Honesty,” I spit. “What a concept.” She bites into her lower lip, chewing until it’s red. “Do you really wanna talk about this right now? I mean, I’m game.” She puts her hands out to her sides. “I’m ready to dive in whenever you are, girlfriend, but
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“I know you may not wanna believe it, Lily, but I love you. I always have, even when we hurt each other. And more than anything else in this world, I want you to feel welcome here.”
“Listen.” He lowers his voice. “I wasn’t going to bring this up until later, but, I have this therapist.” I choke on a cough. “A therapist?” He smirks. “Yes, a fucking therapist, Lily. One you probably should pay half the damn bills for considering you’re a big subject of conversation.”
“You don’t hate me?” I ask softly. Her finger curls into her wild hair as she appraises me, her eyes squinting. Finally, she sighs, shaking her head. “I don’t hate anyone. Life is too short, and I’ve learned that hate won’t do anything but keep you from learnin’ how to love. Everyone makes mistakes.” Her eyes grow dark as her eyes flit past me to Eli. “Everyone deserves second chances.”
“No one here has any right to judge you for your past. We’re all just a big ball of fucked up, and learnin’ how to make the most of what we’ve got. Was I mad at you for a long time? Yes. But... life has a funny way of makin’ you see things from different angles. And your choices are your own, Lily. I’m just happy to have you back, and get to watch you raise that little boy.” Her head tilts. “You are stayin’, right?” The burn explodes from the back of my eyes, tears slipping down the apples of my cheeks, acceptance bleeding into my skin from where it seeps out of her pores. I nod. “Yeah.” I
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Suddenly, realization smacks me in the face. I feel like the villain. I’ve never wanted to make my brother choose between who he loves and me, and looking back now, I realize that’s exactly what I did. My chest cramps and I decide that whatever I need to do, whatever I need to work on, I’ll do it. So I can come to a place of understanding. Of acceptance. Because I’m tired of being angry.
Finally
“I’m the asshole who fucked up your world. But I would do it a thousand times over if it kept you safe.”
“I just… are you Alex or are you Mason? I don’t know. I need some time.” Blowing out a breath, I nod, my insides tossing. “The people who named me Alexander are dead to me. Mason is the name I chose—the name that makes me feel free. But a name is just a name, little bird. You can call me whatever you want.” Kissing her lightly on the lips, I stand up and wink. “In case that was the last one I ever get.” The corners of her mouth twitch. “You’re a prick.” I move to the door, turning around to smile. “But I’m your prick, whether you claim me or not.”
“Goldi, I once told you that your glow ‘n stick stars lit my path to you, but the truth is, I could find you in the darkest night. Because you’re my person. You’re my one. I fell in love with your light. Your grace. Your ability to stand strong no matter what life throws your way.” Lee smiles, wiping under her eyes. “I lived most of my life convinced I didn’t deserve good things,” he continues. “That a kid like me was just a tiny speck in the universe—a waste of everyone’s time.” My heart squeezes in my chest. Chase reaches out, cupping Lee’s cheek. “You showed that kid he was bigger than
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