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worse, “God must have needed him more than you boys did.”
Winners may forget. Losers don’t.
complain about things they can’t control—family,
deconstructing a person is easier than constructing one.
One scene from the Gospels, in John 6, grabs me. I’ve pictured Jesus as the crucified Messiah, rejected by his own people. But John’s account gives a glimpse of his early popularity. Huge crowds follow him around, dazzled by his miracles and hanging on his every word, eager to crown him as their king. How does Jesus respond? By retreating to a mountain, a place of solitude. Undeterred, the crowds pursue him. The next day, Jesus gives some of his harshest teaching, so alienating the crowd that all but his closest followers abandon him. When Jesus asks his twelve core disciples if they, too,
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“The world is a smiling place,” he writes, and God its largitor, or “lavisher of gifts.”
“I have learnt to love you late, beauty at once so ancient and so new!” Augustine confessed, regretting how long it took him to turn to God.
Augustine said, “Show me a man in love; I’ll show you a man on the way to God.”
Conversions only make sense from the inside out, to the fellow-converted. To the uninitiated they seem a mystery or a delusion.
Like Paul, like Job, I cannot begin to answer for God. I can only accept the free gift of grace with open hands.
