For Lucy

by Jewel E. Ann

“No matter how undeserving one might feel of forgiveness, no one is unworthy of it.” —Emmett Riley

There’s nothing more magical than your mere existence bringing complete joy to another human. And there’s nothing more soul crushing than that same existence inflicting an eternity of pain.

I no longer make her smile. That feels like its own death I would grieve for eternity.

It’s never been my hands keeping her hostage. I’ve always loved her with open arms. My love has never been forced. It’s always been free. She’s the one who cannot walk away. And she knows she needs me to take the blame for that too. So I do. Because that’s how I love her.

“Love this baby more. You have to promise to love this baby more than me … more than us.” “Tatum …” “Promise me. You have to promise me. Parents are supposed to love their children more than each other. This baby is the best of us.”

No matter how hard we try to be perfect, we are not. No matter how hard we try to do the right thing, the wrong thing manages to trip us up. No matter how undeserving one might feel of forgiveness, no one is unworthy of it.

“How do you do it?” I narrow my eyes at my mom. “Do what?” “Watch her love another man?” There’s no good answer to that question. Except … “She was never really mine.”

Emmett </3 T.T

“And your heart…” Lucy’s tone shifts into one that’s more serious “…is almost too big for your chest. It’s almost too big for this world. And nobody knows that better than I do.” Well, fuck … The girl knows how to hit her dad squarely in the feels.

It's like I'm crying and waiting to know what Emmett has done for his girl. T.T

Never is a strong word. It’s absolute. It’s all encompassing. And it’s nearly impossible to say with any truth. Never is the embodiment of the unimaginable. So is always. There is nothing absolute about our lives. Who we are lies in the space between always and never.