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December 7 - December 8, 2023
I am staring at a man who seems to be weighing whether or not I’m worth the effort of scrubbing blood stains out of the carpet.
Well-adjusted women with happy childhoods don’t fuck mobsters.
Dario tries to care for me like a toddler with her first doll. How did I never notice how awkward he is? I guess our time together was always structured. Dinner. Games. Clear rules and etiquette. He pulled out my chair. Poured my wine. Even sex was somewhat scripted. He put me in position, and I took him. I came if I could get myself off. If I couldn’t get to my clit, I didn’t. He’d kiss me when he was done, and then he’d take a shower. And I was okay with it. More than okay. I was in love. Why? Why is this all I wanted for myself?
I need a break. A shower, a nap, a change of clothes. My wrists and the bump on my head are throbbing. I’d like an aspirin or a stiff drink. But the deranged boyfriend wants a rematch, so I guess we play.
I’m not that kind of girl. I’m the one who clings to the wreck as it sinks, not the one who jumps ship.
The slut and the psychopath. The predator and his prey.
it’s the irony of my life. The only person whose feelings I care about, and she’s the equivalent of an emotional eggshell.
“You know the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?” “I have no idea.” “People talk about levels of aggression, mimicry, those sorts of things. But if you read about it, ultimately, it comes down to whether you can care about another person. Until I met you, I was a psychopath. And then I was a sociopath.” “That’s better?”
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