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“What did you do?” “Sold all our shares in Micron Tech at a loss.” The five million. He lost five million dollars while I was in the bathroom. On purpose.
“I like that you need me. It drove me crazy when you didn’t anymore.”
“I’ve been playing chess since I was four years old. I’m not tired of it yet.” “So I’m a game to you?” It’s not an accusation; it’s a clarification. “No, not a game. You’re the one.” “Which one?” “The only one in the world.” He slips his fingers down my shin and brushes lightly across the top of my foot, the merest dusting of a touch, as if I’m dangerously delicate, liable to crumble with any pressure at all. “Everyone else is a piece. A pawn, a knight, a king. Not you.” I snort softly. “Let me guess. I’m the queen?” “Nope. You’re the one on the other side of the board.”
Why her? Why is she the only person out of billions who matters?
The only person whose feelings I care about, and she’s the equivalent of an emotional eggshell.
It’s so obvious when you think about it. It’s brilliant, really, and so messed up. A man dangles love. The girl leaps. She does what he wants. He castigates her for it. And then he dangles love again. How much higher will she leap? Because she has no other choice, right? If she wants what he’s offering?
There are only two choices. Accept being unloved. Or try harder. I’m a scrapper. Of course I wasn’t giving up.
“Dario is the kingmaker. And you’re his woman. Do you know what that makes you?” I shake my head. “Powerful.”
“I didn’t see you worried about my self-destructive tendencies when your cock was in my mouth.” “I didn’t fully understand then.” “Understand what?” “That it bothers me when you’re unhappy.”
I’m needy, he’s heartless, and by some magical alchemy, this—this creature we become together—solves us both.
“D4. D5. C4,” he recites very quietly, almost under his breath. Those are chess moves. Why is he telling me chess moves? Some animal part of my brain gloms onto his words, repeats them on loop. D4. D5. C4. D4. D5. C4. D4. D5. C4. There’s nothing but fear, and then a synapse fires. D4. D5. C4. That’s the Queen’s Gambit.
“You know the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?” “I have no idea.” “People talk about levels of aggression, mimicry, those sorts of things. But if you read about it, ultimately, it comes down to whether you can care about another person. Until I met you, I was a psychopath. And then I was a sociopath.”
“So you care about me?” “I’d die for you. Kill for you.”
Her mother is the world to me. That will be enough.
