As I watched one video of a son joyously dancing with his mother around their kitchen, a Portuguese word came to mind: saudade—feeling melancholy and nostalgic for something you love, but also feeling grateful for having experienced that love at all. The cycle was pain and beauty and pain again. Though these people had managed to free themselves in their minds, their bodies were still under attack. I’d thought nightclubs were the places where everyone was supposed to be their freest—I’d even thought LGBTQ+ safe spaces were hardly needed anymore, as being queer was more widely accepted than
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