Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much

by Jen Winston

You know you should be living your fabulous queer truth—not going on more mediocre dates with guys who will inevitably disappear.

Is bisexuality queer? In your head you know it is—another few years and you’ll realize you’re just as entitled to Chromatica Oreos as twinks are. But in your heart, you can’t deny that bisexuality has never felt queer enough. It’s never felt queer enough to talk about. It’s never felt queer enough to take up space. It’s never felt queer enough to lead you to community, or to show you who you are.

Like it or not, this conversation constitutes one of Jen’s earliest exposures to bisexuality, suggesting that a woman’s queer behavior matters only if it has an audience.)

Most onscreen threesomes positioned women as objects for male consumption, implying that female queerness could only exist in reference to the male gaze.

Coming out didn’t make sense unless I had somewhere to go.

But in reality? We… still wanted to burn everything down. The difference, though, was that in reality destroying the status quo wouldn’t be an act of anger. It would be an act of compassion. Setting normativity ablaze meant creating space to start anew.

It may be a queer stereotype to fall in love fast, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe it means you’re more in touch with yourself and your feelings. Maybe we’d all fall in love fast if we thought we were allowed.