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“My schedule for today lists a six-hour self-accusatory depression,” Iran said.
“Here comes eager beaver Phil Resch back with his handy dandy portable little test. Isn’t he clever? He’s going to destroy his own life and mine and possibly yours.”
“It’s not just false memory structures,” Phil Resch said. “I own an animal; not a false one but the real thing. A squirrel. I love the squirrel, Deckard; every goddamn morning I feed it and change its papers—you know, clean up its cage—and then in the evening when I get off work I let it loose in my apt and it runs all over the place. It has a wheel in its cage; ever seen a squirrel running inside a wheel? It runs and runs, the wheel spins, but the squirrel stays in the same spot. Buffy seems to like it, though.”
“She said she wanted to take in the exhibit of Edvard Munch that’s there now. It ends tomorrow.” And Luba Luft, Rick thought to himself, ends today.
Going up to Phil Resch—who stood off to one side vigorously smoking a small gray cigar—he said to him, “I hope to god you do test out as an android.” “You really hate me,” Phil Resch
he stood gaping with a sort of glazed, meek need at the displays.
I’d like to see you step up to the goat-class where I feel you belong. Frankly you look more like a goat man to me.”
Rick said, “If I get them I’m going to buy a sheep.” “You have a sheep. You’ve had one as long as I’ve known you.” “It’s electric,” Rick said. He hung up.
On the screen the faint, old, robed figure of Mercer toiled upward, and all at once a rock sailed past him. Watching, Rick thought, My god; there’s something worse about my situation than his. Mercer doesn’t have to do anything alien to him. He suffers but at least he isn’t required to violate his own identity.
“I didn’t get anything from holding onto those handles,” Rick said. “Mercer talked to me but it didn’t help. He doesn’t know any more than I do. He’s just an old man climbing a hill to his death.” “Isn’t that the revelation?” Rick said, “I have that revelation already.” He opened the hall door. “I’ll see you later.”
