A Shadow in the Ember (Flesh and Fire, #1)

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

“And you, liessa, are very brave.”

“Is that a smile?” He leaned over, eyeing me far too intently to be serious. “It is. You’ve graced me with three of them now. Be still my heart.”

Because it was him. The Shadowlands god. Ash.

“I am known as the Asher,” he said, and I shuddered. Is it short for something? I’d asked when he told me his name. It is short for many things. “The One who is Blessed. I am the Guardian of Souls and the Primal God of Common Men and Endings.” His voice traveled through the Great Hall, and absolute silence answered. I could barely force air through my lungs. “I am Nyktos, ruler of the Shadowlands, the Primal of Death.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you picked up that whip,” the Primal growled. “And touched what is mine.”

“What did they do to you?”

hehe

“But you spoke with no fear. You acted fearlessly. Each time I saw you,” he continued. “You interested me, and I hadn’t expected that. I didn’t want that. But at that lake, you were just Seraphena,” he said, and my breath snagged at the sound of my name spilling from his lips. It was the first time he’d said it. “And I was just Ash. There was no deal. No perceived obligations. You stayed simply because you wanted to. I stayed only because I wanted to. You let me touch you because that was what you wanted, not because you felt as if you had to. Maybe I should’ve told you, but I was…enjoying myself with you. I wasn’t ready for that to end.”

“That life for any being is as fragile as the flame of a candle—easily extinguished and stamped out.”

“I do not prefer for us to remain strangers. To be quite blunt, Sera, I would prefer that we were once again as close as we were at the lake.”

“Freckles,” he said, his cheeks…pinker than usual. “You have thirty-six of them on your face.”

“I would say I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t believe me. I don’t blame you for that, but don’t you dare insinuate that what I’ve done with you was purely an act or that what I’m feeling is fake when I’ve spent my entire godsdamn life not being allowed to want or even feel anything for myself! Not when I spent the last three years hating myself for the relief I felt when you didn’t take me because it meant I didn’t have to do what was expected of me.”

“I know what I am. I’ve always known. I am one of the worst sort. A monster,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “But don’t you ever tell me how I feel.”

“Friendship? Even if I considered such a thing, I would never think of you. There is no way I could ever trust you. That I would not doubt or question every thought or action. Not when you were shaped and groomed to be whatever it is you believed I wanted. Not when you are just a vessel that would be empty if not for the ember of life you carry within you.”

actually depressed

“I can smell her blood on your lips. There is nothing that I will not do to you because of that.”

“Don’t forget, Sera. You are not afraid. You may feel fear, but you are never afraid.”

It was him—who he was. His strength and intelligence. His kindness, despite all that he’d seen and surely suffered. His loyalty to his people—those he cared for. It was how ending a life still affected him. It was how he made me feel. That, for the briefest moments, I wasn’t a monster. That I was someone. Me. Not whatever I had been shaped into.

“Your paths have always ended in your death before you even saw twenty-one years of life.”

“You are the heir to the lands and seas, skies and realms. A Queen instead of a King. You are the Primal of Life.”