‘I don’t think we could ever do that,’ I say to Ed sadly. ‘Not really.’ ‘No,’ says Ed. ‘No, I know.’ Because you don’t love who I am, I want to say. You love who I could be. The Noelle who leaves her mum behind, who doesn’t care deeply, who wants to study business, make loads of money, who wants to move away from this little town and buy big homes and work through that checklist. And I want to see the world, yes of course I do, and I want adventures, and I want my hobby to be my job. But I don’t want to leave my family behind. I don’t want to leave this town completely.

