Obsessive Addiction (Those Malcolm Boys #1)

by K.L. Donn

“Why am I not afraid of you?” I say it unobtrusively, not expecting an answer from him. “You should be.” His voice is as dark as the look in his eye. “You should fucking run from me.” I get the feeling he wants me to. “But I’ll never let you go.” My breath hitches in my throat. “Why?” I squeak out, clearing my throat. He smirks as we pull up to the high school. The bell’s about to ring, and I wait with bated breath for him to answer my question. “I’ll be here to pick you up at three.” He looks me square in the eye. “Don’t make me wait, Ren.” I shiver at his nickname for me.

“Life. What’s the point of this anguish? The laughter and the hurt. What’s the point of me?” I know I’m hysterical. I sound like a crazy girl, but I can’t help it. I’m doubting my self-worth in the worst possible way, and I can’t find my way out of the rabbit hole I’ve sunken into. “The point…” he says slowly, “is, it’s time for me to protect you. To become the safety net you deserve.” His words hold nothing but promise and truth. “The point…is you’re mine now, bird, and nothing will stop me from keeping you.” I hold my breath. “Including your stubbornness.”

Crux watches me, searching my gaze for something. “I can’t lose you,” I whisper. The words couldn’t be truer. Without Crux, I’m quickly realizing, I have nothing. I’m no one. With him, I am everything. Leaning forward, he buries his face in my neck and breathes deeply, inhaling my entire soul. “I’ll never leave you, little bird. As long as there’s breath in my body, I’ll be by your side.” “Then you have to let him go,” I try to reason.

can accept so much, but not this, not the risk of his life for mine. It’s a tradeoff I’m not willing to concede to. “For you.” His words are rough, as if they’re being ripped from his chest. “I’ve waited so long for you, Ren, I won’t fuck this up.” When his lips touch mine tentatively, tears I’ve been trying to hold back all day finally break free.

Crux is such a hard man. Volatile in every sense of the word. But with me, I’m treated like glass. Fragile, precious. With him, I feel like I’m worthy for a little while, and the darkness that’s always lurking in the back of my mind creeps away, and light begins to shine through.

“Hey,” I murmur as my hands touch her shoulders and she lifts her head in shock. “You didn’t think I’d come?” “Well, I mean. I don’t know. I guess I’ve always just thought it best not to expect anything. I can’t be disappointed that way.” Break my fucking heart.

“I’ll be here, Ren. Every single day. Even on the ones you beg me not to be, I’ll be here.” Her pretty blue eyes tear up, and my heart constricts. How has no one ever made that fucking promise to her before?

His head drops to his chest and a huge sigh, full of so much turmoil, billows through him. “You’re right, I don’t mean that.” I begin to shake. Not because I’m cold but because, now, I am afraid. Was I right? Is he done with me? “Because what I want is for you to be in my arms every hour of every fucking day. By my side for every moment. In my bed every goddamned night.” The harsh emotion in his words freezes every cell in my body. “What I want is to control every fucking aspect of your life so you’re never hurt again. What I really fucking want is for you to want me as much as I fucking want you, ‘cause Ren, I’m fucking dying over here without you pressed into my body.”

“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” I can’t help but say. “The most perfect creature I’ve ever seen.” I could worship her for days. “Has there been a lot?” she asks, and I’m taken aback. I shake my head. “No one since I met you all those years ago.”

“You were mine before either of us knew what it was going to mean, Farren, and there’s nothing in this world that will make me change the events of the past. Except to take your hurt away.” Tears gather in her eyes, and I can firmly say that for once, they aren’t from pain. “I love you, Crux Malcolm.” Fuck. I think I feel my own fucking tears now. She’s a gift I never knew I could wish for, but I’m eternally grateful for. “I love you, too, Farren Hallewell. For so fucking long I’ve loved you.”