You will probably see Grease when it comes out and, well, you have to. That’s your one chance. You will be rewarded mightily by Grease, which will feature filthy lyrics like “the chicks’ll cream” that you won’t understand at all. It will also deliver the most powerful lessons of your Gen X girl life—if you want to get a guy, you’ll need to change absolutely everything about yourself, start smoking, and dress like a whore.
