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Kindle Notes & Highlights
all human beings are united by birth, life, death, and every emotion in between
with time, intention, and good healing practices, the past loses its power over your life.
being aware that you are repeating the past is a sign of progress
maturity is knowing that when your mood is down you should not trust the way you see yourself
even though the future is unclear, you know that moving forward alone is what you need to grow and be free.
great transformations need a beginning.
miscommunication and conflict occur because we are not building a bridge of understanding.
letting go is possible, but it requires courage, effort, an effective healing technique, and consistent practice.
you cannot build a deep connection with someone who is disconnected from themselves.
managing your expectations and knowing that people grow at their own speed will save you from interrupting your peace.
happiness is being able to enjoy life with a peaceful mind
being okay with not being okay helps you let go
progress happens when you make better decisions in the midst of living. you can simultaneously heal your past while being open to the present.
in a world full of imperfect people, patience and forgiveness become essential.
attributes of a good relationship: selfless listening calm communication holding space for each other strong trust, no need to control authenticity, no need to perform rest, laughter, and adventure together the love between you is empowering commitments to each other are clear flexible, no need to always be together both have the space to grow and change
conflict worsens when two people fall into defensive reactions. then there is no real communication happening, only trauma arguing with trauma.
love is rejuvenated when partners occasionally ask each other, “how can i better support your happiness?”
throw away the idea that your partner can make you happy. they can be great support, treat you well, and bring so many good things into your life, but happiness is only sustainable when it comes from within. your perception, healing, growth, and inner peace are your own to create.
real love is finding a new harmony as you both evolve, taking the time to check in and find a new balance as your likes and dislikes align with your most recent growth.
relationships take time to flourish. some people expect profound harmony immediately, but harmony is not possible without deep knowledge of one another’s likes, dislikes, emotional history, and goals. the more you learn about each other, the more you refine your rhythm together. communication helps channel the love you feel for one another into clear ways of supporting each other’s happiness. perfection is not an option, but you can undoubtedly build a great union in which you both feel safe, understood, and loved.
find the balance between honoring your truth and reflecting on your partner’s perspective and remember that success is both of you feeling heard
relationships are not about fixing everything for each other; they are about experiencing joyful moments and tough times as a team and loving each other through the changes.
base your relationship on clear communication and voluntary commitments, not expectations
communicating our needs, desires, and personal emotional history gives both people the information they need to better understand each other and the opportunity to feel the natural volition to commit and say, “these are the areas where i can do my best to meet you. this is how i can try my best to show up for you.” in this way, we transform our private expectations into opportunities for commitment.
find a partner who can give you the space you need to be your own person. it is healthy to have different interests, likes, and dislikes. you do not need to become the same person to prove your love to each other.
when two people embrace their imperfections and commit to growing into better versions of themselves, they will naturally experience greater happiness in the relationship.
find a partner who is willing to make clear commitments. you both know that supporting each other’s happiness is not a mystery, it is the art of communication combined with action.
true love does not fear change, it embraces new growth and adjusts accordingly.
having conversations without assumptions or projections brings a couple closer together.
find a partner you do not have to perform for. when you are both committed to honesty and have active compassion for each other, there is no need to behave in ways that are not genuine.
an irreplaceable friend is someone who: highly values your trust appreciates your honesty naturally feels like family still loves you as you change finds it easy to laugh with you holds space for you in tough times supports your happiness and safety helps you to believe in your self-worth inspires you to love and know yourself
“letting go does not mean erasing a memory or ignoring the past; it is when you are no longer reacting to the things that used to make you feel tense and you are releasing the energy attached to certain thoughts. it takes self-awareness, intentional action, practice, and time. letting go is the act of getting to know yourself so deeply that all delusions fall away.”
it is not possible to erase memories or change the past, but you can stop old behavioral patterns, decrease the intensity of blind reactions, learn to embrace change, accept all emotions that come up, build self-awareness, and strengthen good habits. healing is intentional action plus time.
essentials for growth: proper rest more learning consistent honesty building new habits letting go of old stories saying no to old patterns believing that you can change saying yes to supportive people examining your emotional history finding a practice to heal past pain making time to build self-awareness
if we can accept our imperfections and understand that our conditioning limits our perception of reality, this allows us to more easily begin the work of undoing the past that is embedded in the mind.
one of the clearest signs of personal growth is greater self-love, self-awareness, and love for all people.
if we are really trying to grow our inner peace and wisdom, then our capacity for empathy and compassion for others will also grow.
six things make inner peace easier: not being afraid of change kindness toward others honesty with yourself intentional actions self-awareness gratitude
“freedom is mental clarity combined with inner peace. freedom is when you can see without projecting and when you can live without causing yourself unnecessary mental tension or stress. it exists whenever you are not craving more. happiness and freedom are one.”
check in with yourself occasionally by asking these three questions: is this the direction i want to be moving in? are my recent choices helping my happiness? what can i change to better support my goals?
emotional maturity is knowing the difference between your true needs and temporary cravings
The best way to access and heal your past is by not running away from yourself in the present moment.
six signs of maturity: being open to vulnerability, learning, and letting go seeing more perspectives than just your own accepting responsibility for your happiness prioritizing practices that help you grow pausing to think instead of reacting honesty with yourself and others
three signs of a good friend: you do not have to perform for them they hold space for you during struggles they are truly happy for your success
progress is acknowledging where you are and where you want to be without allowing the space between the two to cause you mental tension.
happiness is being able to enjoy the things you worked for without slipping into thinking about what is missing or what you want next
what you think happened is not final; there is more to the story
this is why letting go is a long-term commitment. it is possible to get to a much happier place while still working on processing and undoing old patterns.
in an era of uncertainty and unpredictability, these qualities will make life easier: a strong determination a willingness to keep growing the patience to listen to your intuition the ability to adapt to unexpected changes knowledge of what strengthens your inner peace knowledge of your values and the ability to stick to them
the importance of self-love and self-acceptance in personal transformation work is critical. this is the energy that allows us to embrace ourselves completely and move forward with less friction into healthier ways of living.
