Lotus

by Jennifer Hartmann

think it’s meant to make me laugh, but all I want to do is kiss her. Oh. My breath catches when I inhale an abrupt breath. “Fuck.”

“You’re the least boring person I know.” “Lies are unbecoming of you, Syd,” I tease, still unable to meet her gaze. Her warm palm is wrapped around my arm, transmitting little tremors to my heart. I think I hear her gasp. “You called me ‘Syd’.” I finally find the courage to glance up, discovering a wondrous look on her face. “Is that all right?” She nods, emphatically. “It’s definitely all right.” “All right.”

“Why me, though? I don’t exactly have the best track record or qualifications for this sort of thing.” “Because I trust you.”

“I understand. What do you like?” A head tilt and pursed lips show me she is thinking about my question. “Food. Laughs. Movies on my couch.” “I can do that. I’ll cook for you,” I offer, pleased at her response. I was frazzled by the notion she may prefer upscale restaurants, limousine rides, and lavish gifts. But as my eyes case Sydney in her grungy tank top, a black beanie hiding her wild hair, and a crusted paint stain still spotting her collarbone… I know she is not that kind of woman.

“If we were on a real date, and things were progressing well…” I begin, my nerves frayed, both hands now clenched into tight fists at my sides. “Would it be appropriate for me to kiss you right now?”

“I believe things are progressing well. Don’t you?”

“I would like to kiss you. If it’s part of the dating process, I should know how, yes?” Sydney’s whole body shifts towards me, a perplexed look dancing across her doe-like features. “You don’t think it would be weird?” “No. I need to do it eventually—I’d prefer to learn from someone I trust and care about.”