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My lips press together to keep the emotions at bay as I observe this man, processing the realization that I was never far from his mind during those years he was locked away, lost and afraid, just as he was never far from mine. We stayed connected. He turned me into something tangible, beautiful and real.
“We’ll be best friends forever, right?” “Yes. Until I die.” “Even then, I’ll find a way to bring you back.”
“I was listening to an assortment of songs you recommended, and it made me want to see you,”
“I have a hard time believing someone could kiss you and regret it.”
“I want to be more.”
“But not all love is meant to stay. Sometimes it only serves a temporary purpose.”
“You’re going to lose me by trying too hard not to lose me, Syd.” A quivering gasp echoes in my ears. “Goodnight.”
“You don’t ever forget. That ache never goes away. You just… adjust. You adjust to the void and rebuild your life around that missing piece, hoping something will come along one day and distract you just enough, that your pain abates… even if it’s only for a little while.”
“God, who hurt you, Sydney?” “You did!”
“Something inside of me fucking died the day I lost you!”
“You didn’t even accept my friend request.” “You weren’t offering me two-million dollars.”
“I ache for you, Sydney,” Oliver rasps, one hand curling behind my head, fisting my hair. “I crave to be inside you more than I craved freedom in all of those twenty-two years combined.”
She is my favorite part of me.
But true strength isn’t necessarily overcoming the fight—it is how we fight. It is not within the sword itself, but in how we wield it.
“I don’t enjoy when other men put their eyes on you. It gives me violent thoughts.”
The Lotus will bloom into the most magnificent flower, even when its roots are in the murkiest of waters.

