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Writing my grief into these pages to make it tangible, so it would exist somewhere outside of me and I wouldn’t have to drag its weight with me always.
The two versions of him existed together in my mind, butting up against each other, contradicting each other, but neither erased the other. I could see more, could see deeper into the story, but the parts I remembered and cherished remained unchanged. Like the frame of the image expanded to show more around the edges, but what had always been at the center stayed the same.
the version of me that I became without him could never have known him. They can only exist together here on these pages, and in my mind.

