The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting: The Tragedy and The Glory of Growing Up: A Memoir

by Evanna Lynch

It’s not that all fans are trying to fill a void; it’s quite possible to be a fan of someone, to admire them and follow their work, while remaining an empowered, self-possessed, dignified individual. But when you are young, insecure and lack a distinct sense of self, I think that’s when admiration for another – typically someone far away and who is mythically aspirational, someone who it is socially acceptable to worship – can quickly balloon into obsession. I think it’s quite rare to meet an obsessive fan who doesn’t have a deep-seated inferiority complex. I see this relationship as dysfunctional, but I don’t see it as unacceptable. It has its place and purpose in life: loving someone else can keep you alive at times when it’s impossible to love yourself. And sometimes, in loving someone else, you become a better version of yourself, someone who you still may not love, but might, to a certain extent, come to like.