You Are Not Your Own: Belonging to God in an Inhuman World

by Alan Noble

An essential part of what it means to be married is to pursue procreation. We may not want the meaning of marriage to be tied up with children, but it is, objectively. And when we embrace that design, we bear witness to the fact that we are not our own, that we depend on God for the provision and grace necessary to be a parent. Parenting will cost you. It will demand energy and resources that you do not possess. While the love of your children will be a great source of joy, many hobbies, pleasures, and career opportunities will be lost. For mothers, your body is dramatically given over to the growth of the child. And that body will never be the same. It is a sacrifice. Having children at the peak of your youth also means that you might fall behind in your career. Without children you could more easily work longer hours—or you could travel or save for retirement. You could make love during the day without fear of the kids knocking on the door and asking why it is locked. Or you could use the bathroom without someone yelling for a glass of water. To be a parent is to belong to another person as guardian. It’s a terribly inefficient and unproductive prodigal gift. Over and over again, in profoundly physical, emotional, and spiritual ways, you will not be free. But that’s okay. You were never your own to begin with. Single people and couples who are unable to have children will face different but no less substantial and important burdens in life, particularly if they actively ...