You Are Not Your Own: Belonging to God in an Inhuman World

by Alan Noble

Consider marriage. If we are our own, then marriage is one of many possible paths to self-fulfillment. Children are an option with which you can accessorize your marriage, or not—like buying a home, opening a joint checking account, owning a pet, or choosing an Ikea bookshelf. For couples who feel a calling to be parents, it can be a satisfying and meaningful experience. But when children don’t fit in with the personal goals of a married couple, we expect the couple to abstain from having children. But if we are not our own but belong to Christ, then God’s design for marriage and sex matters. By design, children are the natural fruit of marriage, as sex is the natural physical culmination of marriage. Marriage isn’t just about the good of the couple. Wendell Berry reminds us, “Lovers must not, like usurers, live for themselves alone. They must finally turn from their gaze at one another back toward the community.”