On the one hand we are completely dependent on ourselves to determine, create, and affirm our own identities. On the other hand, identity requires some kind of external recognition by its very nature. To have an identity, there must be another being outside of you who can see your face and say your name. The gift of your life assumes both a giver and a recipient. But once we begin to rely on other people to recognize and affirm our identity, it becomes uncertain, shifting according to the whims of other people. I think this is why most of us roll our eyes whenever we are encouraged to “accept”
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