A final example: Pornography provides a way for couples to “belong” to each other legally and yet be emotionally and physically autonomous. Sex, it turns out—or at least sex in a healthy marriage—requires a great deal of time, effort, vulnerability, and self-denial. If you’re not married, trust me. If you are married and have not had this experience, be patient. Good sex doesn’t abide autonomy. The act itself is the most intimate, affirming, vulnerable, self-giving expression you can share with a person. Once the common storms of life—stress, work, children, money problems, boredom, age—kick
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