The elderly are a particularly instructive case of how society enables us to choose our belonging. Historically, caring for your parents and grandparents was a basic part of life. Just as they belonged to you, caring and providing for you when you were a child, you belonged to them and were expected to care and provide for them in their old age. But we have gone so far from that norm that many elderly people feel guilt and shame at the prospect of having to rely on their children. More than once I have heard someone express the desire to live in an assisted living home rather than being a
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