You Are Not Your Own: Belonging to God in an Inhuman World

by Alan Noble

Existence is a thing to be tolerated; time is a burden to be carried. And while there are moments of joy, nobody seems to be actually flourishing—except on Instagram, which only makes us feel worse.

And so, while our material well-being has improved in some important ways, judged by many of the qualities that truly make life worth living (meaning, relationships, love, purpose, beauty), the modern world is sick. Perhaps we are less physically sick than in the past, but spiritual and mental sickness is still sickness.

Christians have an obligation to promote a human culture, one that reflects the goodness of creation, the uniqueness of human persons as image bearers, and Christ’s love.

leave the disease untouched, or perhaps muted, anesthetized. To the young man struggling with addiction to porn, we offer a thin image of the gospel, self-discipline, and grace (hopefully), but the systemic objectification of bodies, the cultural glorification of sex and romance as a means of existential justification, and the anxieties and inadequacies that often drive porn use go largely unaddressed and even unacknowledged.

Some of us respond to this competition by rising to the challenge and submitting to the tyranny of self-improvement, which demands constant optimizing, always making healthier choices, always discovering ways to be and do and work better. In chapter three, I will refer to this group as the Affirming because their basic posture toward society is one of affirmation. Others, a group I’ll call the Resigned, accept that they will never be able to successfully compete and turn to the allure of despair, killing time with immersive entertainment until death comes or circumstances change.

But unlimited desire and consumption always leave us exhausted and empty.

some daydream about being diagnosed with a disease that will justify their mediocrity,

This is the fundamental lie of modernity: that we are our own. Until we see this lie for what it is, until we work to uproot it from our culture and replant a conception of human persons as belonging to God and not ourselves,

The first question and answer in the Heidelberg Catechism reads: Q. What is your only comfort in life and death? A. That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.

Our selves belong to God, and we are joyfully limited and restrained by the obligations, virtues, and love that naturally come from this belonging.

Indeed, all of this has already been discovered by better men and women I “cannot hope to emulate.” For further exploration of this book’s themes, I recommend to you Walker Percy’s Lost in the Cosmos and The Moviegoer, C. S. Lewis’s That Hideous Strength, T. S. Eliot’s Four Quartets and Choruses from “The Rock,” Capitalism and Progress: A Diagnosis of Western Society by Bob Goudzwaard, OK Computer by Radiohead, The Weariness of the Self by Alain Ehrenberg, Zygmunt Bauman’s Liquid Modernity, Patrick J. Deneen’s Why Liberalism Failed, Josef Pieper’s Leisure: The Basis of Culture, Wendell Berry, Jacques Ellul’s The Technological Society, and so on.

Young people are torn up over broken families, childhood abuse, anxiety, depression, loneliness, dread that they will never amount to anything, impostor syndrome, choice paralysis, porn addiction, suicidal ideation, the death of parents—profound and extensive brokenness.

What do we mean when we say we want to feel alive? I believe there are two desires at work here. Sometimes it is a desire to tangibly feel our aliveness in a world that constantly mediates experience through technology and screens and busyness.

Alternatively, to “feel alive” is the desire to live our lives to the fullest.

Whatever our goals, we want to feel like we’ve done enough to make our lives worthwhile, to feel like we mattered. To feel alive.

My point here is that married adults in the West have the relatively common experience of waking up one day and concluding the roles, relationships, obligations, and lifestyles that once defined their identity are no longer fulfilling. And in that moment, a modern person can come to feel that it would be immoral not to follow this new, truer identity—even if it hurts many people around them.

But self-knowledge is a byproduct of knowing God; it is not the goal. The goal is to know God and become like him.

Society’s role here is not only reactive, however; it also forms us. By equipping us to pursue this vision of the good life, society also reinforces this vision of the good life. As a result of this mutual reinforcement, it is exceedingly difficult for us to envision an alternative to bearing the Responsibilities of Self-Belonging.

If you’ve suffered with depression for any extended period, you’ll know that the sense of the meaninglessness of life can be overwhelming. What used to give you joy and purpose suddenly feels utterly empty. You know you ought to feel something, but you can’t escape the fog of hopelessness or numbness.

Most people experience break-ups as a severing of self.

The elderly are a particularly instructive case of how society enables us to choose our belonging. Historically, caring for your parents and grandparents was a basic part of life. Just as they belonged to you, caring and providing for you when you were a child, you belonged to them and were expected to care and provide for them in their old age. But we have gone so far from that norm that many elderly people feel guilt and shame at the prospect of having to rely on their children. More than once I have heard someone express the desire to live in an assisted living home rather than being a “burden” to their children who would have to wipe their butts.

These conditions primarily surface as a general apathy toward life, a feeling of inadequacy, and fatigue. Maybe the meaninglessness of his work is the source of his despair, or a midlife crisis in which he doubts his contribution to the world, or burnout after decades of desperately trying to get in shape or get a promotion.

This mode of living takes the form of meticulous daily planners, highly controlled diets and exercise, a confident gait, leadership systems, five-year plans, personal assessments, and action items. The affirming have heard the promises made by society, accept them as legitimate, and intend to cash them in for as long as they can. The system basically works, they feel. And where it doesn’t work, they can be part of the sacred effort to perfect it by ending injustices, inspiring individuals, and overcoming nature. Theirs is a life of Total Work, self-improvement, and measurable successes, of momentum, movement, adaptation, progress, and self-reliance. Busyness feels satisfying to the affirming. They may even feel a sense of moral justification when they are exhausted and overwhelmed. There is a rightness to it.

Ehrenberg argues that modern depression is largely defined by feelings of inadequacy and fatigue, and that is what we see in Esther.28 When Esther returns to her room after the meeting, she discovers that she no longer really cares to be a good intern: “I wondered why I couldn’t go the whole way doing what I should anymore. This made me sad and tired.”29 When students learn how brutally competitive the world is and how little all their intense efforts have amounted to, it doesn’t surprise me that some of them stop trying.

The secret to a good life, they are told, is discovering what you love and doing it for the rest of your life. And our society has provided so many career choices that all my students have to do is discover that one perfect career and be good enough to get hired. But if you spend any time really thinking about that, it’s actually quite terrifying.

it’s that each choice represents a mutually exclusive good life. And this is what probably moves my students the most.

we require new techniques to cope with the stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and inadequacy.

The burden of our responsibility may take any number of psychological, emotional, physical, or spiritual forms—anything from a feeling of inadequacy brought on by a hypercompetitive and increasingly demanding society to cognitive fatigue from the constant flow of information designed to equip us to make rational decisions, or the physical lethargy brought on by the suspicion that the cards are stacked against you.

In both modes, it’s difficult to get out of bed. The Affirming struggle to get out of bed because they’re exhausted from trying to satisfy the inhuman demands of the world. The Resigned struggle to get out of bed because they’re exhausted from their awareness of the inhuman demands of the world.

Technology always claims to be optional even as it becomes impractical to reject.

At some point we have to accept that the widespread usage of psychiatric medication is indicative of more than biological problems. Something else is at work. Hari’s book tries to get to the bottom of why we’re so anxious and depressed. His findings suggest that we have “lost connections”—with ourselves, the world, our work, nature, meaning, and so on.

something other than biological illness is at work behind the widespread use of these medications. The demands of contemporary society, based on a specific notion of the human person, drive us to develop medical techniques to cope.

Even when we think we are on vacation or relaxing, the spirit of our action is still efficiency. Vacation becomes a project that must be completed on-time and under budget. Even when we try to “veg” by scrolling through Instagram, playing a mindless video game, or watching episode after episode of a mediocre sitcom, the pace of the entertainment is frenetic. Images change rapidly and we get bored easily.

Efficiency is not a human virtue.

Q. What is your only comfort in life and death? A. That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by his Holy Spirit he also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for him.

Where people may have sought comfort to cope with the horrors of plagues and perpetual wars in the sixteenth century, the contemporary person struggles to cope with a loss of meaning, identity, and purpose.

No matter how much we consciously affirm that our existence is already justified through God, virtually every other voice we interact with will tell us, “No. Keep striving. You haven’t done enough. If you quit now, your life will be a waste. Do something else to make it worthwhile.” At its best, the church will be a sanctuary from this idolatrous babble, and here, if nowhere else, you should find other souls who will remind you that your life is not a quest for significance or self-actualization, but an act of joyful participation in God’s grace.

Your true identity is not a publicly projected image that requires regular maintenance, upgrades, and optimization.

Love requires us to be still and take joy in the goodness of this moment. And if we are not our own but belong to Christ, that’s exactly what we are free to do. You don’t have to prove anything. You don’t have to acquire more. You don’t have to weigh your options and consider what you might be missing out on. You are free to be present and attend to the gift in front of you whether it’s your spouse, your child, a song, a pleasant talk with a friend, or the wind in the trees.

Christian leisure is the practice of delighting gratefully in God’s creation without regard for what is easiest, simplest, or cheapest.

However, understanding our time can help us. When you come to see how contemporary anthropology shapes our desires, forms our society, and drives us to depression and despair, you are better able to resist its influence. There is tremendous power in the ability to rightly name things and calling the Responsibilities of Self-Belonging what they are—a lie—can be a great source of comfort. The burden to be someone, to live life to the fullest, to endlessly iterate and optimize and compete—when we observe these for what they are, it takes some of their power away.

Don’t let yourself ask, “Is this good deed making any real difference?” If it really is the right thing to do, the efficiency does not matter.

What have we to do But stand with empty hands and palms turned upwards In an age which advances progressively backwards?

True salvation or cultural renewal comes not through our actions but through our rest in God and quietness before Him: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15). You are not likely to see a Christian political organization advocating for “rest” and “quietness”; it makes for an uninspiring (and, therefore, inefficient!) fundraising campaign. But it is what we are called to. The Christian who rests in God is not inert. They still obey the command to do justice, but they act in stillness, knowing that it is God who sustains and redeems.

When you perceive your life to be a hero’s journey, even when you try to be intentional about helping others, there’s a good chance you’ll end up with a career that lets you feel helpful.

Rightly practiced, a Christian anthropology should create people who are known for their ability to rest. Not an efficient “recharging” so we can return to work refreshed and more productive. Nor the conspicuous “fun” of travel or partying that gains its significance through social media posts. Nor a frantic “relaxation” that requires us to consume the right content (“Have you seen this movie? What about the last episode of____?”) so that we don’t experience the fear of missing out. Nor “vegging” with its sense of hopeless exhaustion and incapacity.

Biblical rest is possible because we do not need to act to save the world or to justify ourselves. Because a loving God created and preserves the world, because He has promised good to all those who love Him, we don’t have to be busy. We don’t have to feel guilty for not being productive all the time, or for not using our leisure in the most effective way. Rest without anxiety or fear of falling behind or missing out is not only possible for us because we are not our own. It is required of us. Biblical rest is leisurely.