Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

by John Eldredge

Sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart, your priceless feminine heart.

God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring.

The desires that God has placed into our hearts are clues as to who we really are and the role that we are meant to play.

We think you’ll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That’s what makes a woman come alive.

An external beauty without a depth of character is not true beauty at all.

a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man; it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero. Would that we all were so fortunate.

The essence and purpose of a woman is unveiled here in the story of her creation.

And this is what it’s like to be with a woman at rest, a woman comfortable in her feminine beauty. She is enjoyable to be with. She is lovely. In her presence your heart stops racing. You relax and believe once again that all will be well.

Beauty also invites.

Beauty nourishes.

Beauty comforts.

Beauty inspires.

Beauty is transcendent.

The way you see yourself now, as a grown woman, was shaped early in your life, in the years when you were a little girl. We learned what it meant to be feminine—and if we were feminine—while we were very young.

In order to experience his healing, we must also give him permission to come in to the places we have so long shut to anyone. Will you let me heal you? He knocks through our loneliness. He knocks through our sorrows. He knocks through events that feel too close to what happened to us when we were young—a betrayal, a rejection, a word spoken, a relationship lost. He knocks through many things, waiting for us to give him permission to enter in.

As we said earlier, the vows we made as children act like a deep-seated agreement with the messages of our wounds. “Fine. If that’s how it is, then that’s how it is. I’ll live my life in the following way . . .” The vows we made acted like a kind of covenant with the messages that came with our deep wounds. Those childhood vows are very dangerous things. We must renounce them.

Agreements lock the door from the inside. Renouncing the agreements unlocks the door to him.

Jesus, forgive me for embracing these lies. This is not what you have said of me. You said I am your daughter, your beloved, your cherished one. I renounce the agreements I made with [name the specific messages you’ve been living with. “I’m stupid. I’m ugly.” You know what they are.] I renounce the agreements I’ve been making with these messages all these years. Bring the truth here, oh Spirit of Truth. I reject these lies.

We must forgive those who hurt us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds.

We open the door of our hurting heart to Jesus. We renounce the agreements we made with the messages of our wounds, renounce any vows we made. We forgive those who harmed us. And then, with an open heart, we simply ask Jesus to heal us.

Every song you love, every memory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears has been given to you from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart.

You are meant to fill a place in the heart of God no one and nothing else can fill.

He is not interested in intimacy with the woman you think you are supposed to be. He wants intimacy with the real you.

The essence of a woman is Beauty.

To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by his love and filled with his peace.

By contrast a woman whose heart is at rest invites others to rest. That’s what we felt in June’s presence—and in the presence of many women we know and have come to love. We are invited to be ourselves.

A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same as well.

A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life.

The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift.

It is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged. The waiting does not diminish us.

How do we cultivate beauty? How do we become ever more beautiful? By tending to our hearts with great care, as a master gardener tends to her work.

Our hearts need to feed on beauty to sustain them. We need times of solitude and silence. We need times of refreshment and laughter and rest. We need to listen to the voice of God in our hearts as he tells us what we need.

Unveiling our beauty really just means unveiling our feminine hearts.

True femininity arouses true masculinity.

A man goes to Eve to offer his strength. He does not go to her to get it.

Only God can speak the answer you need to hear. That is why we spoke of the Romance with him first. It comes first.

we cannot talk about loving a man well—whoever he might be in your life—until we see that we cannot look to him for things he cannot give.

Softness is key to a woman. Not weakness—softness. Tenderness.

Jesus knew who he was. He knew where he had come from and where he was going. He knew why he was here. And so, in power and strength, in humility and complete freedom, he offers.

There is a song written on your heart and you must sing it. The world is waiting, needing what it is you have to offer.

You must live the life you were born to live.

Beloved Daughter: experiencing the freedom and delight of childhood, while exploring her world with delight.

Dreamer: beginning to dream of possibilities, while also inhabiting her own sense of self.

Dancer: actively exploring her unique gifting and trying on a variety of...

Lover: entering into the age of abandoning her heart on behalf of others. This can be done by, among other ways, marrying, starting a family, or pursuing more of her God...

Queen: learning to rule her domain, and growing in healing and intimacy with Jesus by fully...

Lady Wisdom: walking in a deeper experiential knowing of Jesus and offering her wisdom to aid others in t...