Felix Ever After

by Kacen Callender

Is it possible to not have an identity? To exist, without any labels to say who I am and who I’m not? Maybe that’d feel good for some people, but for me, I’d feel anchorless – drifting with no one to say if what I’m feeling is real – if this emotion is something that I’ve made up in my mind, or if it’s something that others have felt, too.

Turns out no one needed to actually point and scream, ‘Fraud!’ at me – I took care of that myself just fine.

It’s easier, I think, to love someone you know won’t love you – to chase them, knowing they won’t feel the same way – than to love someone who might love you back. To risk loving each other and losing it all.’

because it was easier to live with the idea that, even though I want love, I’m not the kind of person who deserves to be loved.