Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present (The Path to Calm Book 1)

by Nick Trenton

the area we have the most control over is how we evaluate our experiences and move forward. Overthinking is not a natural state and is not necessary. It is a destructive behavior we can actively choose to stop if we want to. Stress is a fact of life, but overthinking is optional!

Awareness is not rumination, though: when we are aware, we simply turn our attention to both our inner and outer experience, without judgment and without clinging or resisting.

it’s about being aware without attaching anxiety-provoking narratives and judgments to that awareness. If you can do this, then you can choose what you want to do about life’s inevitable stresses.

When you avoid stress, you are not running away from obligations or denying genuine problems. You are simply learning to say “no” to stress that is unnecessary and harmful. We can always say no to situations and people that demand too much of us and our resources.

Communicate your needs and feelings directly, rather than suffering in silence.

Remember that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person. When you forgive, you are releasing yourself from the stress and energy of resenting and blaming the other person.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we agree with what happened or that we like it and shouldn’t try to change it. It only means we gracefully come to terms with what we can’t realistically change, so we can focus on what we can.

When we alter our perspective, we can see things differently. Is this a “crisis” or a “challenge”? How does this obstacle look when we tell ourselves, “I’m a resilient person,” compared to when we tell ourselves, “Life isn’t fair; this will end badly like everything does”?

if you can put your brain on pause and re-engage your senses for a moment, you unhook yourself from the worry track and give yourself a moment to become present and calm.

If you’re catastrophizing about things that may happen tomorrow or next year or whenever, set those aside and look at what matters today only, or perhaps only what matters in this very moment. Ask yourself, what single next step can you take? Don’t worry about the next twenty steps, just take the next step you need to, and then you can go from there.

Overthinkers can sometimes have problems with being over responsible. They may unconsciously downplay their own wellbeing or pleasure and believe that all the serious and unpleasant work of life has to be the first focus, and relaxing is a rare treat they can only earn when everything else in life is checked off the list (i.e., never!).

“Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.”