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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Nick Trenton
Psychologist Dr. Sarah Edelman explains that stress is something in the environment, an external pressure on us, whereas anxiety is our internal experience of this pressure.
We respond not to stress but to our perception of stress.
Overthinking is not a natural state and is not necessary. It is a destructive behavior we can actively choose to stop if we want to.
Our main goal in de-stressing is to pinpoint exactly what is going on in our heads when we overthink. It’s about identifying the triggers that set us off as well as the effects of that overthinking once it begins.
Adapting means making more lasting changes to our worldview, our goals, our perception and expectations.
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Overthinkers are typically intelligent, but sometimes that just means they’re really good at hiding obvious things from themselves!
Genuine stress management, taking charge of our mental models and attitudes, building more relaxation into life, and being proactive with how we use our time are all foolproof ways of getting a handle on anxious overthinking.
Be proud of yourself for having the honesty and courage to grow and change, rather than trying to “fix” yourself from a position of desperation, shame, or impatience.
we uncover our thoughts so that we can more consciously replace them with ones that better reflect our real values and help us create the life we want for ourselves.
You might find that instead of dwelling on the accuracy, truth, or logic of the thoughts rushing through your mind, you need to identify the emotion behind it and address that directly.
A self-script is a little like self-hypnosis and draws your attention to where you want it.
Self-talk may be unconscious, but a deliberate self-script lets you take conscious control.
human beings are often rather bad at guessing what it is they really want and bad at predicting what will make them happy. When you focus on your most basic and fundamental needs, you’re forced to think of your truest values; thinking about wants and desires, however, can leave you in murkier water.
We can all get confused by what we think we should want, by what other people want for us, by cultural and social expectations, by advertising, or by any other fleeting whims and whimsies that are less substantial than they seem. True needs are often felt simply and directly, whereas those decisions and desires we notice ourselves endlessly justifying and explaining are usually not genuine needs.
Understanding our true values. Not the ones we project on ourselves or that others project on us.
The emotion behind much overthinking is fear—fear of being out of control, of being overwhelmed, of failure, of impending danger, of panic, and so on. The feeling is valid. But that doesn’t mean it’s true. It certainly doesn’t mean it’s helpful!
We can have compassion for our fearful feelings and validate them as real and painful without necessarily indulging them.
