Nervous Conditions (Nervous Conditions #1)

by Tsitsi Dangarembga

I was so impressed with Babamukuru I could not stop admiring him. That evening as we prepared for bed I simply had to tell Nyasha for the umpteenth time how wonderful Babamukuru was; how good and kind it was of him to be so concerned about Lucia and how, because of all this, he deserved all our love and loyalty and respect. But she told me I had misjudged the situation. It was the obligation of all decent people in positions like Babamukuru’s to do such things. Nyasha had a way of looking at things that made it difficult for her to be impressed by Babamukuru. Her way was based on history. It all sounded rather wild to me then, and it was difficult for me to make the long leaps that Nyasha’s mind made between Babamukuru and Lucia and events past, present and future. All the same, I tried hard to understand, because Nyasha was very persuasive and also because I liked to think. I liked to exercise my mind. The things Nyasha said always gave me a lot to think about. This is how I began, very tentatively, to consider the consequences of our past, but I could not go as far as Nyasha. I simply was not ready to accept that Babamukuru was a historical artefact; or that advantage and disadvantage were predetermined, so that Lucia could not really hope to achieve much as a result of Babamukuru’s generosity; and that the benefit would only really be a long-term one if people like Babamukuru kept on fulfilling their social obligation; and people like Lucia would pull themselves together.