The point here is that it’s helpful to talk about your feelings and perceptions about why you feel the way you do with your partner, but it’s not helpful to put the responsibility for the physiological sensations taking place in your body onto them. If you want to get fancy, you can use this formula: When [X], I feel [Y]. Here are a few examples: When [you call me dumb], I feel [angry and sad]. When [you say you’re going to be there and aren’t], I feel [frustrated]. When [you tease me in front of others], I feel [embarrassed and mad]. Add your own here: When [X], I feel [Y].
