A boundary is always something you control. Always. “Stop calling me a fu*k up!” is not a boundary. Neither is, “I don’t like when you throw things and I’m asking you to stop,” nor, “You better not do that again, or else!” I can’t tell you how many times I hear, “I set a boundary but it didn’t work because the person didn’t listen.” Boundaries work every time. That’s right—there’s a 100% success rate. Unknowingly, people are describing an unfulfilled request or a threat, not a boundary. Boundaries are not threats, demands, or requests.
