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“She was my fucking girl, and no one was allowed to steal her from me. Not even a stupid bird. After that… I called her blackbird every day. Just to remind her of who exactly she belonged to, and that nothing else was allowed to matter to her. Only me.”
“Well, she certainly earned the right to stab you.”
That’s what mental illness does to you. It gets in your head and makes the line between life and death seem so small, you’re no longer afraid to cross it.
“Nope. Not one bit. Just a little quirky is all. Don’t worry, all the best people are. Being normal is overrated, Tee.”
I’ll break her all over again if I have to, one stupid bird at a time. Whatever it takes to bring her back to me.
My blackbird grew up.
“I left when the girl I loved became a stranger,” I whisper harshly. “You were like a ghost. Staying wasn’t an option after what happened. So, yes, I fucking ran.”
“Blame me all you want, Brooke. But you’re the one that cut me off when you turned your back on me and said that you didn’t love me anymore. I died that day, right then and there. It felt like this.”
“Does it hurt, baby? Your chest burning? Eyesight swimming? Good. I want you to fucking hurt, you little whore,” I lash out. “When you turned your back on me and walked away like nothing between us ever mattered, I felt like you’d taken a knife to my goddamn stomach and gutted me.”
She was the beginning of the end for me.
Her tongue darts out to tangle with mine, and the taste of tobacco on her breath drives me wild. I kiss her with every ounce of regret that lingers between us, trying to communicate the apology that feels hollow when said aloud.
It’s a small price to pay to taste my broken blackbird.
Just like when we were kids, I’m fucking addicted all over again. All it took was one hit of her toxic poison to enthral me. One tiny taste, and I’m on my knees just where she left me, broken and begging for another chance.
But this time, I won’t be walking away from her. She’s been mine since the day I laid my eyes on her five long years ago. When I get back, I’...
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Parents only disappoint, and us kids are always left to pick up the pieces.
“This is mine, you hear me?” Phoenix states, fingering my ass. “A night with us and you won’t walk straight for a fucking week. I can’t wait to bruise your perfect skin.”
The truth is, I’d rather be fucking poor and in control of my own destiny than in this prison of superficiality. My whole life, I’ve been controlled by other people’s plans and ideals.
I couldn’t see that the real threat was waiting in the wings, embroiled in lies and ready to strike at the opportune moment. Hudson killed for her. Now she’s going to bury him for it.
I’m fucking terrified of what my mind does when it’s had enough.
Something inside me is screaming that this man isn’t a normal doctor.
picturing the little box in my mind that all my monsters and demons barely fit into. It’s bursting at the seams. One day, it’ll erupt spectacularly.
My beautiful, broken girl. We’re far more alike than Brooklyn will ever know.
I can’t stand the gaping hole in my chest that being in her presence creates. She leaves me feeling hollow, gutted by need and desire.
I have to touch her. Taste her. Be seen by her, heard by her in any way possible. Even if I can’t speak.
“Why do you all insist on caring about me?” she snarls, barely above a whisper. “Can’t you see that I’m worthless? I’m a fucking failure and a waste of air.”
I want her to break. Fall apart in my arms. Cling to me like a lifeboat.
Nobody has ever needed me before. What would it feel like to be wanted?
no longer running or afraid. I’m the prey, and she’s here to devour me whole.
“You don’t need to be afraid, Eli. Not from me. Please, trust me.”
she’s too perfect for me to express.
I want to consume her. Devour her soul and keep it locked behind my ribcage where it can’t escape.
Stupid fucking words. I don’t need them. Not with her.
If she wants to know about my pain, I’ll fucking hurt her myself, spilling her blood and claiming her heathen soul.
This girl. We’re cut from the same fucking cloth.
I own her right now. Her breath. Her mind. Her pussy. It’s all mine. My fucking property. Mine to destroy as I please.
For the first time since I got my scars, I’m not afraid of someone seeing them.
“Hey,” I interject with a frown. “You calling me a nutter?” “Obviously. You’re the queen of nutters, girl. Own it.”
“You said to trust you because you love me and will never hurt me. Look where that got me. Don’t lecture me on being cold-hearted, you piece of utter, utter scum.”
“You aren’t a monster. No matter what the world thinks, or what the newspapers print. You’re a good kid who made some bad choices. Remember that.”
The truth is, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. I already hate myself enough for what I did.
I know she felt it—the instant electricity behind us. That spark paved our way for ruin five years ago, and we were always destined to burn together.
I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. We’re all caught in her orbit. Every damn one of us.
I can’t remain trapped in limbo, caught between loving and hating that bitch.
All I’ve ever cared about is one thing. Kade. He’s my better half. Everything I should be and more.
She’s the only person who has ever come close to understanding me.
All I do is hurt people. I’m no good for anything else. Brooklyn always managed to see the good in me, even when I broke her in the worst possible way. Now, there’s nothing good left to see.
“You want to know why I’m so screwed up? The answer is simple. Your brother paid his debts with the only thing he had.”
“Me. He paid with me.”
I am my own destroyer.
Every single solitary moment of my life, I’ve been fucked over, abandoned, forgotten and used. By everyone and everything. And somehow, it all comes back to me. There’s no one else to blame but myself. I’m a failure, a goddamn failure.
