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Not materialistic, like the other boys at our school. He couldn’t care less about brand names. If it still works, it’s good enough for him. I like that. I consider myself pretty low-maintenance too.
Did I say he was attractive? My mistake. He looks like the dirt beneath my shoes. That’s about as much as he interests me now.
us. I don’t know exactly what happened, but it’s shameful that he had to experience that in a Black home. My home.
think to myself, If I can still move, what I’m gon’ be still for? Maybe because I’m too scared to move. Because if I move, people might see me. Because staying still is easier.
My eyebrows furrow. “Why not? Is it poisoned?” “No.” Auden sighs. “It’ll just encourage her. Just please—”
LOL
Sure, he’s fine as hell, but that’s it. I’ve already established that his mind is ugly and so are his words.
“Better?” His arm is sorta kinda resting atop my thighs, and his eyes are sorta kinda taking me apart.
“My mom taught me about stereotypes, but she never taught me about the dangers of being the exception to stereotypes.”
He blames himself for not being around when his dad died. And yet stays away while our family dies.
Gia was straightening Destany’s hair, and I said, “Can you do mine too?” It was one of the most ignorant things I’ve ever done. They both paused and looked at my hair. Gia said, “Um, well, this is a brand-new straightener.” And I didn’t understand what she meant, so she clarified, “I don’t want to get it dirty.” My throat clogged. I felt embarrassed and sick to my stomach. Destany walked over, and she ran her fingers through my hair. “It is pretty greasy, Quinn. Maybe if you washed it first.”
Aw hnnnn
“Because that idiot’s had a crush on you since he started going to school at Hayworth.”
“If you say that you’re not the type of person to feel comfortable in this situation, you’re telling yourself how to feel the next time.”
But we all know that none of our homes are perfect.
He shrugs with a smirk. “And I’m observant.” I smirk. That reply is familiar. “Your nails always match your phone case,”
Like I really hope that this isn’t just a game to him, because kissing him doesn’t feel like a game at all.
WHO I AM A (terrible) liar. Brave enough to take responsibility for the lies I’ve told. An ugly crier. I always prefer being outside, even when it’s raining, even when it’s cold. A vegetarian. Socially awkward. A runner, not a fighter. The cowardly lion before he got his courage. A warrior. Not as pretty as her. A goddess. Hattie’s granddaughter.
“Yes, ma’am. Now your granddaughter’s here.” The nurse opens the door wide for me. “My granddaughter? Quinn?” Hattie calls. “My Quinn?”
I don’t know what to say to her, or how to converse with her. She’s just watching the world go by, lost somewhere in her memories.
I told her I loved her too and left feeling fractured and healed at the same time.
REASONS I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU You made a home in my head, and no matter how many evictions I send, you won’t leave. I don’t ever want you to leave. Imani won’t stop asking about you. Olivia won’t stop talking about you. And I can’t keep my eyes off you. I can always sense when you’re near. My energy shifts to make room for yours. Not even your journal could answer all the questions I have about you.
It contained my feelings when I didn’t know how to express them out loud, but now I can’t do that anymore. I cannot be contained. I’m too big for this journal.
I gasp. “You were gonna take me to bed and that’s it?” He laughs. “Quinn!” “The audacity! I am a lady.” I smile. “If you were down, I was down, is all I’m saying.” I wonder if I would have. I can’t imagine only wanting him for sex and nothing else.
think you were trying to be color-blind.” “Yes, exactly. I always forgot you were Black. You know? Like, it’s not something I thought about.” I look at her and her makeup-free face. “That’s not a good thing.”
