He Who Fights with Monsters (He Who Fights with Monsters, #1)

by Shirtaloon

“I’m becoming increasingly concerned. Also, I’m talking to myself a lot. I’m sure that’s fine and definitely not a defence mechanism to stave off panic.”

Reserve judgement until more information is available. That’s the rational approach.”

“People. Are. Vegetarians,” he yelled through gritted teeth, every word punctuating a strike to the knee. “Vegetables. Aren’t. People-tarians!”

“Who gardens with an evil trowel? Whose hedge maze is this?”

“Admittedly, my plans for the day were fairly loose, but cannibals and spelunking aren’t things you just casually slide into the schedule.”

“Well, if you’re only going to complete one quest objective, ‘don’t die’ is a winner.”

We’re a nice, traditional blood cult family.

“Instincts of a hero,” Gary said. “I’d probably put it down to compromised judgement,” Jason said. “I’ve been knocked out several times today.”

“The way you made them disregard you as a threat by appearing weak and harmless,” Gary praised. “Feeble and helpless, even touched in the head a little. It was masterful how impotent you came across. Even after you kept escaping from the cage, they had no respect for you as a threat whatsoever.”

“We do what we can with what we have,” Rufus said. “Complaining about what we don’t have doesn’t help.”

“It isn’t actually called an apocalypse beast,” Farrah said. “That’s more of an informal category.”

“Sometimes all your choices are bad, I guess.”

“Life is hard, outworlder,” Rufus said without sympathy. “And you, my friend, are soft. If you want to get by in this world, you’ll need to toughen up.”

Farrah had told him there was magic in the water. Was that the cause of his strange reminiscence, or was he just homesick in a strange land?

“If this is the adventuring life,” he mused, “I think I want some more.”

“You should have given it a more intimidating name, like ‘Devourer’ or something.” “Gary,” Jason said, “it’s a bloodthirsty apocalypse monster. It’s intimidating enough.”

“I bet it isn’t the danger that stops them,” Jason said. “It’s the hard work, right?”

That being in a losing position doesn’t mean you lose, so long as you’re willing to pay the price of victory.

“My grandfather says the great adventurers are the ones who turn luck into fortune.

“since the gods are apparently real, here, I feel like I should be waving the flag for secular morality.”

“That’s setting yourself on fire to ward off the cold.”

He said you never learn who you are when everything goes right. It’s in your darkest hour that you understand what it is to be an adventurer.”

When all your training and powers fail you, you have to find something inside yourself you never knew was there. Then you can do things you never thought possible. It’s the difference between a good adventurer and a great one.”

“Anything can be kung fu if you're diligent about it.”

“You don’t just start off good at difficult things,” Gary said. “You have to begin at bad and work your way up.”

“Being good is easy when the choices are easy, but adventurers don’t sign up for easy choices. Being a good person means being good when the choices are hard, and there’s a price to that.”

Kneeling isn’t how you show respect, Arash. That’s how you show obedience.”

“Do you have any idea who my father is?” “Does anyone?” Jason asked. “Your mother’s a friendly woman.”

“What?” “You say that a lot,” Jason said, “and you always look kind of confused. You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?”

He also recognised that Rufus had very much undersold the magnificence of the man’s moustache.

“Strong is accepting the choices you make and owning up to the consequences.”

“He can be… challenging,” Humphrey said. “He’s a long way from home and I think he likes to put people off-balance because it’s how he feels all the time.

“Friends don’t count favours, Rufus. They just show up when they’re needed.”

“but nothing is more impressive than handling the consequences of one’s actions with grace and aplomb.”

“I know I’m not to everyone’s taste, but coming to this world is a chance to be who I am, take it or leave it.”

“You’re an adventurer now. Go to the jobs hall, get a contract and have some damn adventures.”

Feeling righteous or putting a little more good into the world?”

“You either keep your mouth shut or accept that someone's going to put a fist in it from time to time.”

“Doing nothing to change a bad situation may not feel right, but if anything you do will make it worse, then it’s the only choice to make.”

better lucky than good. Luck has saved my life more than once.”

“And I find people in your position,” Jason countered, “tend to confuse respect with obedience.

“I can do my best with the two-star jobs,” Jason said, “but making an idiot of myself is kind of my thing.”

“I don’t know what a flirty Santa Claus is,” she scolded, “but my goddess definitely isn’t one.”

“Facing up to consequences is the making of a man,”

“It’s easy to excuse away doing nothing,” Jason said. “It’s our tradition, our culture, our values. That does not make it acceptable to hand someone over to a predator.”

“You just gave up the right to tell me a damn thing,” he said. “I thought you were different. That you had integrity. Just so you know, I don’t care who your father is. You’re worth hating all on your own.”

“You haven’t earned a favour here, Mr Bahadir. You’ve made a friend, and friends don’t count favours. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

“A responsibility isn’t just a responsibility so long as it’s convenient,”

I need your best right now, Thalia. Or at least your good enough, which is still better than most people’s best.”

“She died as well as any of us could ask. Comrades behind her, enemies in front of her and friends beside her.”