He Who Fights with Monsters (He Who Fights with Monsters, #1)

by Shirtaloon

“Admittedly, my plans for the day were fairly loose, but cannibals and spelunking aren’t things you just casually slide into the schedule.”

“Killing them in return doesn’t make us any better than they are.” “Sure it does,” Gary said. “Better at killing.

If we hadn’t stopped them, they’d have killed us too, and plenty more after. I don’t know what justice is like in your world, but in this one, it sometimes comes down to people like us dealing with people like them.”

“She’s great at blowing things up,” Gary said. “It’s true,” Farrah said. “I am good at blowing things up.” “Which, admittedly, solves the bulk of our problems,” Rufus said. “But when overwhelming, barely-contained annihilation isn’t the answer, it leaves her somewhat at a loss.”

“As your life was mine to reap, your death is mine to harvest.”

“Did you really name your familiar Colin?” Gary asked as they walked. “Yeah, I told you that,” Jason said. “You should have given it a more intimidating name, like ‘Devourer’ or something.” “Gary,” Jason said, “it’s a bloodthirsty apocalypse monster. It’s intimidating enough.”

“Because people are terrible,” Jason said. “Is that what you think?” Farrah asked. “I’m starting to worry about your world.” “Really?” Jason asked. “Because when I came to your world people kept trying to eat and/or kill me.” “He has a point,” Gary said.

“Is it a local custom to write what we think of people with paint? I’m not sure I can fit ‘self-important turd nugget’ on your robes. Do you have a smaller brush?”

“That’s not a cure,” Jason said. “That’s setting yourself on fire to ward off the cold.” “I’m not sure you're the guy I’m going to for advice about consequences,” Jory said. “Probably for the best,” Jason said with a laugh.

“Or you could just blow one of them up,” Farrah said. “I find that intimidates the survivors just fine.” “You’re a very aggressive person.” “There’s nothing wrong with enjoying your work.” “There is when your work is killing people.”

Being a good person means being good when the choices are hard, and there’s a price to that.”

He told me that if I wanted to be successful in love, I needed to learn three things. How to dance, how to cook, and how to keep my damn mouth shut.”

“She’s more of a knife to Jason’s hammer, but they both seem to enjoy provocation as a social tool.”

“Who are you?” the boy asked. He was looking at Jason with the same expression he’d give to furniture that unexpectedly started talking. “I’m no one important,” Jason said. “Clearly,” the boy said. “Do you have any idea who my father is?” “Does anyone?” Jason asked. “Your mother’s a friendly woman.”

“Rufus warned me about you,” Vincent said. “He said you were a man of malevolent intellect.” “That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.” “That’s the nicest thing?” “What we find complimentary is often subjective.” “You are a very strange man.” “That’s just cultural differences,” Jason said. “Where I come from, I’m perfectly ordinary.”

“I understand the part about covering me with meat,” Clive said. “I don’t appreciate it, but I understand it. But tethering me to a stake? I’m not going to wander off.” “You might,” Jason said. “I’m sensing resistance to the plan.” “I could just pull out the stake.” “See, this is the kind of resistance I’m talking about. It’s not my fault your world doesn’t have goats.”

“I’m a ‘live by the sword, die by the sword’ kind of guy,” Jason said. “You either keep your mouth shut or accept that someone's going to put a fist in it from time to time.”

“Just remember that if you’re talking to Jason and you get confused, he’s probably up to something. If you’re talking to Jason and you’re not confused, then he’s definitely up to something.” “Well that’s just hurtful,” Jason said.

“And I find people in your position,” Jason countered, “tend to confuse respect with obedience.

Jason held out his hand and an elaborate dagger appeared in it, made of black obsidian and blood-red crystal. The blade was jagged, slightly curved, and the single most sinister object he had ever seen. “How did you get that?” Humphrey asked. “The awakening stone was absolution.” “Well,” Jason said, turning the knife over in his hand. “I’m absolutely going to mess up some monsters with it.”

Do you really think you can take us all?” “Yes,” Jason said, his voice dismissive. “I just don’t know if I’ll be able to leave any of you alive.”

“A father’s wish for his child to go further than he.”

“She died as well as any of us could ask. Comrades behind her, enemies in front of her and friends beside her.”