He Who Fights with Monsters (He Who Fights with Monsters, #1)

by Shirtaloon

“What happened to bros before hoes?” Jason called out over the blasting air of the propulsion ring. “I don’t know what that means,” Humphrey called back, “but it feels like I should respect you less for having said it.” “That’s fair,” Jason said.

😂😂😂

It’s possible I just peed a little.”

“His real name is Jared.” “I’d definitely take that over Dink,” Jason said. “Was he the one who picked Dink?”

“Of course,” he said, and waved at Humphrey with the hand Cassandra hadn’t claimed. “See you in a few weeks, Hump!” “Go die in a bog!” Humphrey called back. He winced at the startled look this earned from Gabrielle, which caused him to glare at Jason’s laughing face all the more.

They’re so funny

“Let's just keep our distance,” Jason said. “I'm not sure I can be around that much wealth inequality without going on a socialist rant.”

“She knows when you’ve been naughty,” he mused. “She brings gifts, apparently.” Halfway back to the group, Gabrielle wheeled around and stormed back to Jason, waving a finger in his face. “I don’t know what a flirty Santa Claus is,” she scolded, “but my goddess definitely isn’t one.” “Does she have a big temple to the north where elves make toys?”

“Mr Bahadir,” Jason said, standing up to shake hands. “This is Gabrielle Pellin. You’ll know Danielle Geller, I presume. Gabrielle is currently attached to her son, Humphrey. She does have accomplishments outside what man she’s hanging around, but she called me a dimension-hopping loon, so I won’t bother with them.”

“Yeah, but they'll just think you're nervous because you're a sexual predator.”

😂😂😂😂

Then, figure out how to stay out of my sight, because if I ever see you again, I might just slap you so hard, it changes your religion. Do understand what I’ve just told you?”