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“Be careful,” Cade’s mother whispered as a jar passed down their pew. “The edibles are powerful.” “I am not going to get high at my aunt’s funeral,” Cade said. “Well if you do, start with one.” Her mother shook a few jellies out of the jar.
This book has officially intrigued me.
Two drag queens wrapped a feather boa around the urn.
I want a funeral like this one.
“There are no mistakes when you speak from the heart,”
It was touching, though, that a woman wearing tight pleather knew that much scripture. People probably never guessed that about her.
Who says sex and religion can’t go together? Well, in a non-illegal or traumatizing way, anyway…😅
Her body told her that if she could just fuck hard enough or come fast enough, her anxiety would melt away. It never worked.
Cade lifted up a catalog featuring a woman in a bondage chair (Of course. This was her family. Aunt Ruth couldn’t get old-lady clothing catalogs) to find a desiccated lasagna.
the wrong choices were so much more attractive than the right ones.
How could Cade not want to…drop everything to move across the country to live with a stranger she’d hugged once? Okay. Yes. Selena could imagine why Cade didn’t want to do that.
I feel Selena is so close to becoming self-aware she’s just a character in a romantic comedy novel.
Because it’s my aunt. Of course she sells sex toys and Christmas stuff.” “And cookware.” Obviously that didn’t make it better.
For a moment, Cade imagined Selena was begging her to stay: please stay, Cade, so we can embark on this adventure together. Cade almost relented.
They are too. God. Damn. Adorable. ALREADY.
The smile that lit Selena’s face was almost worth the thought of spending a month working in a bankrupt sex toy store while her parents filled the gallery they co-owned with live alpacas.
It would have been nice if the delight in Selena’s voice was for Cade, not for Cade’s ability to salvage her inheritance, but whatever. That was the story of Cade’s life.
“We could sell succulents if you’d like, but we have to be really careful to tell people not to put them in the anus.” Cade looked at Selena. “People make that mistake all the time,” Selena said apologetically.
Why was she so boring? She could have eaten one chocolate penis to be polite.
Common courtesy!
What self-respecting twenty-nine-year-old lesbian hadn’t ridden a motorcycle? Probably to Provincetown, zipping in and out of the weekend traffic with a rainbow flag flying off the back.
People needed to be touched. Cade had just had many long nights and no girlfriends. She was like one of those dogs no one played with at the pound. They got clingy or they bit people.
“Selena.” Cade put a hand on her arm. “You were there with her when she was dying. There is no profit or business or subsection that means anything close to what that means.”
The answer would be edging. What would the question be? It’d be like sex-anxiety Jeopardy.
I’m glad I get to be sad about Ruth. That means I got to love her…get to love her. If she hadn’t been in my life, I wouldn’t get to be sad about her now.”
“What they say about carbs being bad for you, it’s a lie,” Selena said through a mouthful of noodles. “Conspiracy. Probably from the beef industry. Carbs make people happy.”
She felt seen and appreciated, like Selena thought she was charming just the way she was, with her charging speeds and her British royalty sex toy selling techniques.
“You’re never a fail because you don’t want to do something you don’t like,” Selena said. “You don’t have to be anything you’re not.”
She would be a wonderful lover, strong enough to hold Selena down, gentle enough to lift her up. Kind. Attentive. Thoughtful. All the things people forgot to look for when they looked for lovers.
“No one expects the Bouncy House of Breasts on Arbor Day. It would be an experience.”
That concern said, I will never hurt you. Except Cade would. She wouldn’t mean to, but she’d break Selena’s heart in the end.
Cade Elgin is not going to stay with me. She’s a rock star. She owns a third of the gallery. She is the Elgin Gallery. She’s a rower. God, she wears white suede and it doesn’t get dirty. I know I’m not really a fuck-up, but she’s not going to want me long-term. She wants an accountant.”
