Anindita

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And I had always been the kind of ambitious that demanded the culmination of becoming Someone. I craved the validation of high achievement, the sense of wielding control over your own life. The fulfillment you could find only through setting up lofty goals for yourself, then knocking them down one by one.
Anindita
That's Depressing ASF and worse is that it looks like nothing has imprroved self-esteem wise since then
Payback's a Witch (The Witches of Thistle Grove #1)
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