Dirty Forty (Friendship and Desire, #1)

by Mia Monroe

“Well, maybe after a blowjob you’ll instantly fall in love with me.” He dips his shoulder, a saucy grin on his lips. I nearly choke on my wine. Bold little fellow. “Um, that sounds exciting.” “But?” “I’m not usually a hook up on the first date kind of guy.” Lies! “Boo. That’s no fun. I’m making up for lost time. Safely, of course.” “Of course.” “There’s always the second date.” “Sure. How many dates do you have lined up?” “One every night this week, plus an extra coffee date on Sunday.”

“Come on, Dom. What?” “I just noticed something about your face.” “Okay.” “You have a cluster of freckles next to your left eye. They look like a little constellation of stars. It’s really cute.” My heart stutters in my chest. Maybe it actually stopped, and I’m having an out-of-body experience right now. “I hope that’s okay to say.” I nod, finding my voice. “It is. Thank you.” He smiles, then lifts my hand and kisses my palm.

We stand in the hallway staring at each other for several minutes. Maybe it’s only a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity. I know what I want to do, I just need to find the balls to actually do it. So after a deep breath, I take a step forward. Zach looks surprised but doesn’t budge as I slide my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him slightly closer. His eyes shift up to mine, his lips part, and he smiles. “What’s this, Dominic?” “A birthday kiss. If you’ll take it.” “Fuck yeah, I’ll take it.” That’s all I need before my lips crash into his.

Please, Universe, please let Dominic be demisexual. Please let him like dick, mine specifically, and please let him decide that I’m the one for him. I’ll never ask for anything again.

“You know, I happen to have some pretty strong skill sets in the bedroom.” I study his face for a moment. “Yeah? What would we do if we were together?” “To start with, on a first date, I don’t like to go all the way. I like to save something to look forward to for future dates.” “That makes sense.” “Basically, I like to suck your soul out of your dick during a first date.”

“I love those sounds coming from you,” he says, the low timbre of his voice vibrating through me like a bass. I don’t know what to say to that, so I say nothing. “Listening to you last night,” Dominic continues, “was like finding a new band and instantly falling in love with all of their music.”

Stepping closer, I pull him into me and press a soft kiss to his lips. “Someday I’ll make you understand, Zach. Someday you’ll stop running from me. I’ll tear down your wall, and you’ll believe me that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Did you ever think you’d see something like this?” “No, never, but that’s the thing about life. Sometimes it surprises the shit out of you with more than you could have even imagined on your own.”

“Yeah, I’m all in.” I smile. “You know, a few years ago, if you would have told me that I would be having the best sex of my life with a man, I’m not sure how I would have reacted. I don’t think I would have been offended because I love Zach too much to think anything bad about being gay, but I just didn’t see it in myself.”

“But the first time I kissed Zach it felt like…” I pause, shaking my head. “Honestly, it felt like I’d been waiting my entire life to kiss him.”

“I love you, Dominic.” As his words meet my ears, everything calms and a warmth as hot as the Arizona sun washes over me. “I love you so much,” Zach continues. “I have always loved you, since the first time I saw you when I was a little boy and didn’t even know what love meant. I knew it was you. You’re what love means to me, and that’s always been true. It always will be.”

“I love you, Zach. I’ve been falling in love with you forever I think. Maybe I’ve always loved you, but I was so clouded by the wrong things that I couldn’t see it. That night, almost twenty years ago, when you said ‘I’ll marry you’ it’s like you planted this little, tiny seed somewhere inside of me, and over the years you’ve been watering it by being this amazing person that you are and being by my side and offering me yourself so unconditionally. Even letting me work through this part of my life where I started to see us differently. See us as more. Even with all your hesitation and fear, you stuck by my side and let me work through it.”

Dominic nods, his face lost in thought. “That’s interesting. There were times in my life where I would think, man, if this woman was like Zach…” He shakes his head. “How did I not see it? You were always what I wanted.” “I think me having a dick probably threw you off.” We both laugh at that. “Now I’m a fan.” “Dicks are pretty fucking awesome.” “Who knew? I’ve always liked mine.” “You should. That thing is a beast.”