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There’s no way it can happen again, no matter how curious I might be. No matter if it felt really good to kiss him. And unbelievably natural. And hot as fuck.
“It was a revelation though.” Zach sips his coffee. “In what way?” “I kissed a boy and I liked it?” We both laugh.
“Would you just trust me?” His hand moves to my neck. “Trust me not to hurt you. Trust me to communicate with you. Trust me to be the person you’ve always known me to be. I know what I’m doing. I’m doing it very consciously.”
And what I need to do before that feelings talk happens is figure out if these emotions swirling around inside me are the kind of friendship love I’ve always had for Zach or something new. A different kind of love. The forever kind.
“I love those sounds coming from you,” he says, the low timbre of his voice vibrating through me like a bass. I don’t know what to say to that, so I say nothing. “Listening to you last night,” Dominic continues, “was like finding a new band and instantly falling in love with all of their music.”
“I don’t want to use crass words, but I want to be inside of you, Zach. I want to feel you. Do you want that with me?” Swallowing hard, I nod. “So ba-badly, I might fall apart.” “If you do, I’ll put you back together again.” “You always do.”
But maybe I had to kiss all those other people first to understand that Zach’s kiss was the one I was waiting for.
“I love you so much,” Zach continues. “I have always loved you, since the first time I saw you when I was a little boy and didn’t even know what love meant. I knew it was you. You’re what love means to me, and that’s always been true. It always will be.”
“You know, you’re pretty romantic sometimes too.” “Nah, just honest, and fucking dick-whipped.” I laugh. “Same.”
I love his sounds—grunts, moans, whispers, prayers—but the best is my name, said over and over as he pushes us both to the edge.
“Do you want a drink or anything first?” “No. I want you to take me apart and put me back together again.”
What’s happening between my legs is intense and overwhelming and fucking life. I want to scream no and yes, stop and faster, harder and mercy.
