At night when I’m alone, I’m reminded of the things I can’t control. When I’m at school, I get to be someone else. Someone people like. But when I’m here, sitting in the dark, shaking as that night replays over and over, her face a permanent bloodstain, I remember that the person I play at school isn’t me, not in the slightest. The Chi who turns up at Niveus every day might not be afraid to hurt people’s feelings, to do things to get what she wants. But she’d never do the things I’ve done. She’s a good person. Someone who deserves to be Head Prefect and to go to Yale, to become a doctor. I
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