It's Been a Pleasure, Noni Blake

by Claire Christian

I have always been somewhat surprised that people like me. Like that. That people want to have sex with me, are attracted to me. I don’t feel likable in that way.

She realized teaching wasn’t for her pretty early on, when a grade-eight class was acting so wild that she called the police. When the police showed up, wondering what the hell she expected them to do with thirty wayward teenagers,

Socially infertile. That’s the medical term for same-sex couples navigating fertility treatments.

And there is a hole. There is a hole in your heart, or your life, or however you want to look at it. That baby, she is a hole, which you’re never, ever gonna fill. You’re just gonna get better at living with the hole,”

The trip takes us through broody forests, glassy lochs and lone stone cottages set against rolling mountains, the kind of backdrops that provide absolute assuredness that fairies do in fact exist, because this is where they live. It’s magic.

The retreat is set into a mountain, next to a lake, with wooden buildings that blend perfectly with the surroundings. Hot tubs set in glass houses overlook tree-lined mountains. It’s so, so unbelievably beautiful.

Humans are so habitual. We like routine,” Lil says. “And then we get stuck. And we don’t like to interrogate our habits, or do anything that feels uncomfortable. But that’s where the good stuff is, in our discomfort.”

realize I’ve been using other people as my biggest pleasure center my whole life. To validate me. And I’ve been letting their acceptance or rejection of me dictate my value.