Rock Paper Scissors

by Alice Feeney

We weren’t always the people we are now, but our memories of the past can make liars of us all. That’s why I’m focusing on the future. Mine. Some days I still picture him in it, but there are moments when I imagine what it would be like to be on my own again. It isn’t what I want, but I do wonder whether it might be best for both of us. Time can change relationships like the sea reshapes the sand.

Adam has a neurological glitch called prosopagnosia, which means he cannot see distinguishing features on faces, including his own. He has walked past me on the street on more than one occasion, as though I were a stranger.

Whattttt?? What an interesting disability to write about.

Despite our problems, I’m so proud of everything he has achieved.

My husband doesn’t cheat on me with other women, or men, he has love affairs with their words.

But behind closed doors, things have been wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Wright for a long time.

limerence noun. An involuntary state of mind caused by a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated.

It’s harder to hide the darker side real you from someone you live with,

??? Is she crazy

People are careless with their words nowadays.

dark and twisted love story, about a man who writes a letter to his wife every year on their anniversary, even after she dies, has inspired me to start writing some letters of my own. To you. Once a year. I don’t know whether I’ll share them with you yet, but maybe one day our children can read how we wrote our own love story, and lived happily ever after.

Maybe because I’m tired of being told off by my wife every five minutes.

He's lowkey the worst

Believing in someone is one of greatest gifts you can give them, it’s free and the results can be priceless.

But my judgment can be faulty. There are some people in my life I shouldn’t have walked away from: I should have run.

Word of the year: shenanigans plural noun. Secret or dishonest activity or maneuvering. Silly or high-spirited behavior; mischief.

The ability to write a good book doesn’t make someone a good person.

What he doesn’t know, is that if things don’t go according to plan, only one of us will be going home.

Probably for the best, given what this weekend is really about, and what I plan to do.

I wish people were more like books. If you realize halfway through a novel that you aren’t enjoying it anymore, you can just stop and find something new to read. Same with films and TV dramas. There is no judgment, no guilt, nobody even needs to know unless you choose to tell them. But with people, you tend to have to see it through to the end, and sadly not everyone gets to live happily ever after.

I don’t know why she has to be so … suffocating.

I cry, as she throws my lucky charm into the fire.

Yikes

If I wasn’t sure before I am now, and I’m counting down the hours until this is over once and for all.

Word of the year: growlery noun. A place of refuge or sanctuary for use while one is feeling out of sorts. A private room, or den, to growl in.

Someone is outside and they are staring right at me.

Just outside, no more than a few feet away, there are several pairs of eyes staring at us.

Word of the year: biblioklept noun. A person who steals stories. A book thief.

“Adam!” I scream, but he doesn’t answer, and all I can see is black.

She knows he’ll eat when he is hungry.

???

What I should feel is guilt, but I don’t.

I never thought I was the kind of man who would cheat on his wife. But I did. And somehow, she found out.

And I wasn’t the only one who slept with someone they shouldn’t have. So did Saint Amelia.

I want to fix him. And I want him to love me for it. But not everything that gets broken can be repaired.

The visitors won’t be able to leave when they want to either, not that they know that yet. It’s impossible not to feel a tiny bit sorry for them.

Word of the year: hornswoggle verb. To get the better of someone by cheating or deception.

But words can’t fix everything, no matter how fond you are of them.

Word of the year: mensch noun. A good person. Someone who is kind and acts with integrity and honor.

Word of the year: chuffed adjective. Feeling happy or very pleased.

Word of the year: discombobulated adjective. Feeling confused and disconcerted.

Someone really doesn’t want us to leave.

Word of the year: atelophobia noun. The fear of not doing something right or the fear of not being good enough. An extreme anxiety of failure to achieve perfection.

Word of the year: monachopsis noun. The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place. Unable to recognize your intended habitat, never feeling as though you are at home.

Word of the year: metanoia noun. A transformative change of heart. The journey of changing one’s mind, self, or way of life.

You were still in bed. With my friend from work.

She smiled. I’ll always remember that.

“It’s a photo of your first wedding. When you married Robin.”

“I think you do,” she says. “I think that even though you were married to Robin for ten years, she never told you that she was Henry Winter’s daughter. I think she grew up here and that little girl’s bedroom was hers.”

Word of the year: insouciant adjective. Free from worry, concern or anxiety; carefree.

The only good thing about losing everything, is the freedom that comes from having nothing left to lose.

Word of the year: redamancy noun. The act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full.

The car they caught her in was the car that killed your mother.

Word of the year: schadenfreude noun. Pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction derived by someone from another person’s misfortune.