Rock Paper Scissors

by Alice Feeney

We weren’t always the people we are now, but our memories of the past can make liars of us all. That’s why I’m focusing on the future. Mine. Some days I still picture him in it, but there are moments when I imagine what it would be like to be on my own again. It isn’t what I want, but I do wonder whether it might be best for both of us. Time can change relationships like the sea reshapes the sand.

My husband doesn’t cheat on me with other women, or men, he has love affairs with their words.

All people are addicts, and all addicts desire the same thing: an escape from reality. My job just happens to be my favorite drug.

limerence noun. An involuntary state of mind caused by a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated.

Some people say that marriage is like wine and gets better with age, but I guess it all depends on the grapes. There are definitely years that were more pleasurable than others, and I’d have bottled them if I could.

I doubt he felt the same way, but feelings don’t have to be mutual to be real.

I wish people were more like books. If you realize halfway through a novel that you aren’t enjoying it anymore, you can just stop and find something new to read. Same with films and TV dramas. There is no judgment, no guilt, nobody even needs to know unless you choose to tell them. But with people, you tend to have to see it through to the end, and sadly not everyone gets to live happily ever after.

growlery noun. A place of refuge or sanctuary for use while one is feeling out of sorts. A private room, or den, to growl in.

That’s the thing Robin has learned about life now that she is older: the world keeps turning, and the years go by, regardless of how much she wishes she could turn back time. She wonders about that a lot: why people only learn to live in the moment when the moment has passed.

Enjoy the stories of other people’s lives, but don’t forget to live your own.