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September 26 - October 12, 2025
That was it, wasn’t it? Sleep was my sanctuary. No matter how fucked-up the world now was, I could still get away for part of the day.
If Santa gives coal to the regular naughty kids, he’d probably give this stuff to history’s greatest villains, like Hans Gruber and the guy who invented those shoes with the individual toes built in. It burns a lot hotter and a lot longer than regular coal. And when I say “a lot longer,” I mean until the end of your lifetime. So like a week or more. To save you distress, I’m not going to tell you where this came from. That was a lie! It’s a baby corpse!
Donut gasped. “Are we going shopping? Do you think if we buy a lot of stuff, they’ll have a shopping montage scene on the show, like in Pretty Woman?”
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