The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #3)

by Matt Dinniman

“Carl, what’s happening?” Donut asked. “Probably something stupid,” I said.

“I’m moderately excited about this, Carl,” said Donut.

Carl: I think I know which one. I’ll tell you when to stop. Now see if there’s a control up there that will open the gate. Donut: I ALREADY OPENED IT BY ACCIDENT AND MORE GHOULS STARTED WALKING OUT. I DIDN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GET MAD.

Carl: In some games, you can’t kill NPCs if they’re necessary to complete quests. I think maybe this is the same thing. Donut: OR MAYBE HE’S A LIAR. HE’S A DOG. DOGS ARE LIARS.

Carl: Holy shit I have a glorious idea. Mordecai: No. Carl: You don’t know what it is yet. Mordecai: I don’t care what it is. If it’s a Carl idea, it’s probably a brilliant idea that’s going to get you killed.