The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #3)

by Matt Dinniman

Fire Brandy – Lesser Demon MILF. Level 75. Fire(wo)man of the Nightmare Express. This is a non-combatant NPC. A single mother’s gotta eat! Where one finds big ovens that need stoking, one will regularly find a Lesser Demon in control. But if it’s a fire that needs to be extra hot, the much-rarer Sheol MILFs are often employed to keep those fires sizzling. Once a pregnant Lesser Demon falls into labor, her delivery usually lasts about sixty days. During these two months, she has a litter of 15-18,000 babies, delivering one approximately every five minutes, non-stop. Only one in 10,000 Lesser Demon babies are viable. The rest rarely live more than a few seconds. Their corpses shrivel and harden, becoming a valuable resource called Sheol Bricks. The 15th floor will be lousy with them. If exposed to fire, Sheol Bricks burn long and hot. Lesser Demon MILFs who also learn water magic can find lucrative work as steam boiler fire stokers. Once they seal themselves within the boiler, they create an almost self-sufficient system that keeps most larger boilers humming. Plus it’s a convenient method of disposing of their failed young. This train is running on dead babies. Holy crap that’s fucked up.